Post # 1
Way before I got engaged (in fact whilst i was single I’m embarrassed to say) I had a pretty detailed design of what my dream wedding would be the reason for this however was because I took an event management coordination and design course and one of the projects was creating a detailed design of a wedding for myself.
But i guess that’s a far cry from actually buying a dress or pouring over centerpieces or visiting possible venues. I must admit I see this as taking it a bit far.
Are they truly bridezillas and what are some of your thoughts on this new trend?
Personally I see nothing wrong with some aspects of it such as having a vision or an idea of what you want but I do think that some of them take it too far.
Let’s have a discussion, vote above and post comments below 🙂
Post # 3
It’s one thing to have a dream wedding, but to be buying a dress or deciding on centrepieces without even having a boyfriend is absolutely, completely and utterly nuts. It’s losing sight of what a wedding is really about.
Post # 4
Wow, I just….really? Venues before a boyfriend!?
I agree with what SpecialSundae: said about losing sight. Having a scrapbook of ideas seems completely reasonable to me (although I didn’t have anything like that), but full-on planning seems like a risky venture.
Post # 5
Me and some of my friends (some single, some not), sometimes muse about what kind of dress we’d like or what kind of veil or things like that. I sometimes even ask my boyfriend his opinion on things. I read the boards on this site. But that’s it.
I think that it’s okay to pick dresses and colors and maybe flowers and stuff like that and put the ideas in a scrapbook or on pinterest, but going to the point of buying stuff and looking at venues is getting a little craycray.
What if your future fiance doesn’t want the wedding you’re planning on? At the end of the day, the wedding isn’t just about the bride. It’s the couple’s day.
THEREFORE, I believe that musing or dreaming is fine, but going to the point of purchasing is ridiculous because being single, you don’t have an idea yet of what your future fiance might want his wedding to look like and you can’t just assume that you’re going to get everything you planned on.
Post # 6
I worry that these people are going to rush into relationships with people that aren’t good for them just so they can have a wedding.
Post # 7
@Natalieh86: One of DH’s exes is that sort of girl. She had a dress bought for a wedding that was called off so she just found the next guy within a few weeks and continued on with the wedding plans so she didn’t have to change HER day.
Said guy has kicked her and her two year old daughter out of his flat a few times and generally doesn’t seem to be a particularly stand-up guy… but still she goes back to him so she doesn’t have to call off the wedding. Stupid girl!
Post # 8
I got so annoyed while I was planning my wedding, my single friends would talk about what their weddings would be like. They’d hardly let me talk about my actual wedding that was actually taking place within the next 3 months.
Post # 9
@SpecialSundae: Maybe there’s still time to find a replacement! Seriously how does that not freak a guy out??
Post # 10
@Natalieh86: I’ve no idea! She’s had three fiances in the two years that I’ve known her.
Post # 11
I had a friend like this and it was CREEPY.
You see, I had never given much thought to my wedding, but after FI & I attended a family wedding last summer that was ABSOLUTELY beautiful, I knew FI was thinking about proposing in the near future. I mentioned this to my ex-friend- who hadn’t had a bf in over a year, and no potential suitors in site- who immediately started sending me files and folders she had been saving for years. She had her entire wedding planned out. The dress, the colors, the cake. She was already saying she wouldn’t accept anything other than a diamond because it’s “traditional” and all this other weird shit (that isn’t even true!) It was SO bizarre. I was thinking “This is the reason you don’t have a bf, you ooze of desperation” because I do think that those people- the ones that are further ahead in planning their dream wedding than I am in doing my REAL wedding- are fucking desperate and need a hobby. We’re not talking, like, people who might daydream about their special day(like jomir mentioned, I think that’s normal) we’re talking someone who probably has potential vendors on speed dial, for when the day comes.
I dont talk to this girl anymore, for a host of other reasons, but her Bridezilla stuff has always stuck out to me as just WEIRD.
ETA I also think pre-planning a wedding really takes away from the point of marriage. FI and I aren’t doing this for the floral centerpieces, we’re doing this to be a family! The colors and flwers are just minor details, not the REASON for to get married.
Post # 12
I think it’s fine for people to be excited or bookmark things. I never got the whole dreaming of my wedding since I was little girl behavior. Eventually I would hope people would grow up and realize that it’s about more then being princess for a day, and it’s a represetation of two people not just the bride, and the most important thing isn’t the wedding but marriage.
Buying dresses booking vendors is all nuts and crazy talk. If I was guy who met a someome like this I RUN FAST IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.
Post # 13
I think that’s why a lot of these women remain single though. They’re not even chasing a relationship, hell they may not even be chasing a marriage they are chasing a wedding, a day and it’s really questionable whether any of them realize that marriage is more than just that day. There’s so much more to consider.
I had/still have my little desgin binder but the great thing about that is I’ve never looked at it as “this is what my wedding will be” I’ve always looked at it as “this is what my wedding could be”. And for me that was a huge difference because I saw it as something my future FI and I (after he proposed) could go though together and decide what we like what we don’t and what could be incorporated.
Once again i see no problem with having a vision or idea, photo cutouts or even a venue like your family church or the place where your parents got married or even who you’d like your MOH to be in mind things like that are esily adjustable. But i do think it’s utterly crazy to be buying dresses or contacting vendors whilst still single.
To be honest it’s kinda creepy to be doing it even when in a relationship but nowhere near to being engaged. It puts too much pressure on yourself to find someone and too much pressure on anyone you’re with to be that person.
Post # 14
Post # 15
I feel like it’s okay to browse wedding websites and find things you DO and DON’T like (ahem). But, I do think it’s pretty ridiculous to make these decisions without a significant other. The whole point of a wedding is to MARRY someone else. I hate Brides who say “It’s MY Day” … it’s a WEDDING, for Pete’s sake! It’s supposed to be OUR day.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
When I read the article, it bothered me because I felt that the future man would have no say.
Granted- in the majority of weddings, the bride is the planner, and yes, I had ideas before FI planned. But the big decisions need to be made as a *couple*- the preplanning makes it seem like the fairy-tale wedding party is more important to these women than the marriage.