- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
First off, I’m a little offended by all of the gender roles you’re assuming. Not all girls act a certain way, want to be treated a certain way, or respond the same ways to the same actions.
Secondly, it sounds like he’s a great guy and just hasn’t found the right one yet. Don’t change him, when he finds the right girl they will both be head over heels for each other.
I also would tell him not to waste his time on someone who doesn’t realize what a catch he is and isn’t as into him as his feels towards her.
deleted the post, JUST not worth it! have a nice day 🙂
Your friend sounds like he comes off a little desperate and no girl wants that. While I would love to be chased, and have attention lavished on me, I want to feel that the man is strong, independent and desirable. If he’s desperate I think what is wrong with him that he’s this desperate.
I never chsed boys, I always let them chase me. But there is a balance to this.
@Meowkers: I deleted the post! But this is the problem I was running into…I cannot just tell him I think you are desperate to meet someone and need to knock it off because girls can see through this–or should i!?. I genuinely want him to meet someone and be happy (partially because I feel so bad everytime he keeps getting let down by these girls), I do think there is some necessary tactic/game that people have to play in the beginning when you are dating, and while unfortunate… its just the way it is. I do not think this is ALWAYS the case but I do think a lot of the time that’s the way the single life goes.
I agree that someone too available and too friendly can come across as creepy, but when I’m really into a guy, I’m excited to see him all the time? :/ I feel bad for the guy!
@bookworm88: I agree BUT do you think you would be so excited to see someone all the time if they came on to you so strong in the beginning? That is my concern, that girls will get turned off because they think it is creepy and sort of want to do a bit of chasing. I do understand that everyone is different but from experience and from what I understand of my SO’s guy friends, this seems to be the case.
I FEEL BAD FOR HIM TOO!!! It is actually my SO that said, “he thinks like a girl” and I got upset with him for saying that, so I do understand why you were upset with my original post. I just feel sad that he puts it all out there so early on and sets himself up for disappointment
@Dell79: I think it depends on if I was really into the guy? If I like him, I want to go out with him everyday and stay up all night talking to him to learn about him those first few dates? My FI and I were friends for many years before we finally dated, but it was still so much fun to be in that happy-new-relationship bubble when we finally made it official? Even though I knew all about him, I still wanted to spend tons of time talking to him.
But, if I was only so-so about a guy, I could see how I could get turned off if the guy kept texting a lot or trying to see me when I was just looking for something casual? Like if I was just on the third date with a guy and didn’t know him very well and wasn’t sure how I felt about him, and he told me he was totally in love with me? I’d probably freak out and shut it down.
Has he tried anything like OkCupid? Those sites are normally pretty good because the people put down if they’re looking for a serious relationship– so he could know that the girl isn’t just trying to find something casual.
your right, in thinking more about it if I really liked the guy I don’t know that it mattered who was chasing who. When I think back to how I met my SO I was the same way as you and it annoyed me that I had to wait for him to text me back and so in turn I would drag my response text to him out even longer…seems kind of stupid.
I guess I was just wondering if there is anything that I can do to help him find a girlfriend or any advice that I can give him to stop his actions from creeping someone out…but now that I think about it the answer is probably no!
I missed the original post and am feeling very left out, lol.
I think you have to give him the unpleasant truth that he needs to focus on himself and being happy with with his life. Until he is, he is not going to attract a quality person who is going to want to be with him.
I have a girl friend like this. She’s so desperate that she makes guys turn away very quickly. After listening to her complain and complain and complain I very gently told her one day that she has to be the same quality person that she hopes to attract. Well rounded, happy, interesting. I didn’t use the word “desperate” with her. But i was pretty direct with her.
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