Post # 1
We’re having a really small wedding-40 guests.
Of the 40, the only unmarried ladies are FI’s 39 year old sister, FI’s 13 and 4 year old nieces, and possibly one girlfriend-of-a-cousin in her late 20s.
I don’t want to do a bouquet toss because of this! I would be really upset if I were in this situation but FI disagrees. He still thinks we should have a bouquet toss. I’m not saying he can’t throw the garter (he has about ten guys that are unmarried who would be vying for it). I just don’t want to call his sister out on not being married.
Post # 3
Maybe talk to the gf of the cousin and ask her to jokingly help you wrangle the sister and nieces for the bouquet toss? It would help if it wasn’t just you calling everyone forward to it. If the sister doesn’t walk up, then the nieces will!
Post # 4
I would definitely not do the bouquet toss! I think it will be really awkward .. even if his sister didn’t care, it’s so few people that it’s hardly worth the trouble. I would probably try to convince him not to do the garter toss either, but if it’s really important to him, I’d say just do the garter toss without the bouquet toss.
Post # 5
maybe do a different tradition of the bouquet toss… like preseting it to the oldest married couple. Or skipping it all together is fine.
Post # 6
I know that your fiance wants to do it, but honestly – won’t it be worse for you to do it and feel awkward than for you to skip it and have it go unnoticed? It took me about a week to realize that my brother’s wife never tossed the bouquet at their wedding.
Post # 7
Stick to your guns and don’t do it. Your instincts are right on this one.
Post # 8
I’m the girl who used to hide in the bathroom when I knew the bouquet toss was coming during a wedding reception. The one time I was coerced onto the floor with several other women, all of us literally *stepped back* when it was tossed and the bouquet fell on the floor. I skipped it at my own wedding because I always hated the tradition and we had only a couple of single female guests, anyway.
You could explain to your FI that the bouquet toss is NOT the same as the garter toss. Some women are offended by it, and others are uncomfortable being singled out. He wouldn’t want to make your friend uncomfortable, right?
Or… I’ve read about some weddings where the bride invites ALL the women out on the floor and ties a gift card to the bouquet, which would remove the pressure from your single female guests.
Post # 9
I like the idea of doing something special with the bouquet instead of just not doing anything. I think I may present it to my grandmother and just very simply tell her how much she means to me. She’s technically my step-grandmother but she’s always been grandma to me and she took care of my grandpa through his battle with cancer. I’ve never thanked her for all that she did for him and I think it’d be a nice gesture, much better than the bouquet toss!
Post # 10
Why not just toss it to ALL the ladies? Some people attach a lottery ticket or something.
Post # 11
I’ve also seen there be a special couples dance, where all the couples are invited to the floor to dance. Periodically the DJ asks all those who’ve been together 10 years or longer to remain on the floor. Then 20, 30, etc etc until you’re left with one adorable sweet (usually older) couple to present the bouquet to.
Post # 12
Tell your FI most guys don’t actually want the garter toss. I’ve only been at a few weddings where it’s been done, and generally it was very early twenties. I didn’t even notice for a while that most skipped it.
Post # 13
@Beluga:That’s what we’re doing. I want to toss it because quite frankly, it looks fun to do, but we only have one or two single ladies too. We’re going to announce that there’s a gift certificate for a movie on it and toss it to all ladies. FI will do the same with a ‘stunt garter’ that will be set to the side, not be removed from my leg, lol.
Post # 14
At my son’s wedding, the single women were vying not to catch the bouquet. I kid you not, one of them sort of scooped it up and tossed it to another as if it were a hot potato. If you don’t want to have it, I’m sure your guests won’t care.
Post # 15
Please, please don’t do this! I think it would make your FI’s sister feel like an idiot. I think you either have to cut it out or toss it to ALL ladies, and attach a gift card or something to it like PP suggested. I always hated the bouquet toss even when there were plenty of other singles.
Post # 16
I agree with previous posters – you know your guests, and it sounds like a boquet toss is something you might want to skip. I’ve been pulled out for a bouquet toss before against my will when there weren’t many other single ladies and it was kinda embarrassing. I think doing something else with your bouquet would be equally as meaningful and then you won’t have to risk embarrassing someone. I understand your FI’s desire to stick with the tradition, but it shouldn’t come at the risk of making people feek uncomfortable.