Single mom: would you keep having kids you couldn't afford ?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Single moms: Would you have more kids if you couldn't afford them ?
    Yes : (7 votes)
    4 %
    No : (149 votes)
    96 %
  • Post # 3
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I wouldn’t have more kids if I couldn’t afford them regardless of being a single mom or not. I guess I’d be more inclined to figure out a way to have more kids if I did have a partner because regardless of finances I at least have a partner in all other aspects. If I was a single parent then for sure not because I wouldn’t have the support emotionally, and I’d have no one to pick up any slack financially. My comments are not directed at women who choose to become single mothers but do have the financial ability. My comments are directed at single mothers who are financially struggling and can’t afford the children that they do have. And I say this as a product of a single mother who struggled financially during my childhood, though I was the product of a divorce as a child, not a mother who chose to be a single mother from the beginning. 

    Post # 4
    318 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    No. I have a lot of friends who keep having kids and are on welfare and don’t try to make a better life for their children.  I feel so bad for these innocent children bc they didn’t ask to be brought up like that.  Parents should think it’s their kids and not themselves. 

    Post # 5
    5935 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If you can’t afford to have children, then you shouldn’t have them. Period. 

    Post # 6
    1996 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Single parent or not I wouldn’t have a baby I couldn’t afford. 

    Post # 7
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    Well I’m a single mom. Have been for 12yrs now. I had him young and with very little help from the bio dad. It’s not something I would ever want to do again.

    I struggled a lot. But I could see certain situations where fertility and age could come into play. If there’s a woman whose forced into a situation where her health is concerned and she has a limited time to have children. I would ttc, even if I wasn’t where I needed to be financially. 

    Post # 8
    2243 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I would never consider having children if I was single or was in a situation where my partner’s status was not 100% committed to raising a child with me for the next 18+ years. So regardless of finances, I would not be having any children.

    Post # 9
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I don’t even care if there is a religious context to having more kids (Catholicism, orthodox Judiasm, etc). If you can’t afford your litter of children, don’t have them. Can’t use birth control because of your beliefs? Then keep it in your pants. 

    Addendum: I am in no way speaking about frugal homesteaders who have a ton of kids and live a relatively happy and loving life in what I’d consider to be poverty. I follow a wonderful blog by a mom of four living on a minimum wage budget and that woman is a positive being and a miracle worker. 

    Post # 10
    3156 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I want to have children AND provide them with a wonderful life.  I don’t just want to have children.

    Post # 11
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Having children without being able to provide for them is selfish and irresponsible.

    I do not agree with people having children purposely if they cannot afford to give them a good life.

    Post # 12
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Nope, I would not. I did have friends that intentionally got pregnant when they were around 18-20 because they were so in looooooooooove. Gag. No insurance, no house, no savings, no education, etc etc. Some people just don’t think about these things or just assume the government will help them out I guess.

    Post # 14
    1234 posts
    Bumble bee

    @Westwood:   This bothers me. I fall in the middle of that age range and see people my age having kids already. One couple got married the day after graduation (May 2012) and is already divorced! Personally, I believe if you’re in love there’s no need to rush. If you’re gonna be together forever, what’s the hurry? Some people just make me shake my head.

    To answer the OP, if I already had children, I would not have more if I could not provide for them. I would be happy with the ones I already had. But if I were nearing 35 or 40 without any children I might adopt or use a sperm donor, because having children is very important to me. I would try to save and plan, though, and wouldn’t try to have kids if I was living in poverty. I may not be able to buy my kids toys at Christmas, but I have to be able to provide food, shelter, and clothing. I guess it depends mostly on how hard I am “struggling.” I don’t want to have to resort to prostitution to feed my child, but if “struggling” simply means meager Christmas presents or two of my kids sharing a bed, then ok.

    Post # 15
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    i would never have children if i could not provide properly for them. i see too many mothers on welfare who have no desire to get off of it or better their lives or their children’s lives. i would also never plan to be a single parent. shit happens, yes. but i wouldn’t ever want to bring a child into the world without help from a partner.

    Post # 16
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would try my best not to have children if I could not afford them! Even as a married woman, and not a single Mom!

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