sinking feeling

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
8390 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MSH2010:  Wait, he didn’t tell you that he had a daughter?  Is he an active part in her life?  If I were you I’d be pretty upset by this too.

Post # 4
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

There is nothing wrong with you, but there is nothing wrong with this little girl being out there in the world either.  You are going to have to let it go.  Realize that it really has nothing to do with you or his feelings for you, or your (future) children. 

Post # 5
4140 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Uh that’s a pretty big lie. Did you find out through him or someone else?

Post # 6
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Personal opinion:

You can be upset/sad/disappointed, but it should not affect how you feel about him. Love should be unconditional and not come with the strings of “I only love you because you don’t have kids.”

Kids from previous relationships are a big deal. The first thing he needs to do is find out if he is the father. Once he knows the truth (and he may not be the father) then he can decide if he wants a relationship with the child or not.

I am sorry you are getting this pnch to the gut. I have no idea what FH and I would do if we found out he had a child from a previous relationship, but marriages are full of trying things and this is an opportunity to test out your communication skills.

Post # 8
95 posts
Worker bee

We have all made mistakes. Most of those don’t lead to other living people, but sometimes that happens. If he is a good man and you love him, keep moving forward and deal with this together. Get some outside help if you feel you need it. And take a deep breath! Things work out.  🙂

Post # 11
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@MSH2010:  I thought this was a 7-year-old running around somewhere, not a grown adult. That changes things. Be as supportive as you can and keep on communicating with him. If he continues to have trouble, have him speak to a family cousellor. They can be a great outside opinion on really touch situations like this.

She may or may not know that he exists and she may or may not want to know her biological dad. Either way, it can be a lot to deal with emotionally, and I wish you two the best.

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