Sister and I having weddings 1 month apart – is it wrong?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
mswallabyBee
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

I think that’s exciting! You’ll basically be on the same wedding-planning timelines, which personally I think would be really nice. I’m guessing you two are close since you’re each others’ MOH, so it should be convenient to have someone to bounce wedding ideas off of! 

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Mrs. Wallaby:  If there are no repeat guests other than your parents, I don’t see any issues with it.  However, it’s probably a good idea to sit down and discuss MOH duties because it may end up really stressful for one or both of you to be planning your own wedding along with MOH duties.  It’s better to hash it out now so that if you go all out and she does the bare minimum because she is overwhelmed, you aren’t disappointed.

Post # 5
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i would try to do another break time one month in between is not alot of time. plus showers and bachorolette parties and her honeymoon… could you do winter break

Post # 6
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

why dont you do summer 2015 instead?

Post # 7
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think what you have in your favor is that it sounds like your two weddings are going to be completely different so it’s ok! Are your parents ok with it? It’s looking like my bro will be getting married a few weeks after mine as well… I’m more worried about my parents handling it than myself! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mscuppycake:  It can definitely be done! And it shouldn’t upset her too much since your wedding will be after hers. Just make sure you communicate with your sister about pre-wedding events/celebrations and be vocal with your families if you want to have separate or shared events (such as the bridal shower). If your parents are contributing, are they okay with this?

Post # 9
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mscuppycake:  I don’t think it’s wrong as long as your sister and parents are all in agreement.

And girl, I feel you about breaks and rates skyrocketing. Vacations are SO expensive around school breaks. -1 for working in the school system!

Post # 10
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s fine, as long as your sister isn’t going on a long honeymoon right after her wedding and you don’t expect much help from her. It would be unfair of you to expect her to help with much, if any, of your planning as dealing with her own wedding is going to be more than enough work already. I could also see her getting annoyed if you don’t help her with wedding planning because all of a sudden you have to plan your own in a year.

Post # 11
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mscuppycake:  it depends. Will you be putting family members in a position where they would have to choose whose wedding to go to for financial reasons and time off requests?

Post # 12
Member
526 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have a sister, but I had my wedding in late November and DH’s brother had his second wedding in January.  His parents were maybe a bit overwhelmed, but I liked that I got to meet and see all his relatives at my own wedding and then visit with them again at BILs wedding.  Admittedly the comparisons and such got on my nerves during the planning, lol, stupid SIL suggested that I copied her gown, because apparently lace dresses are so rare. but whatever, if your family doesn’t mind from a time and money perspective then go for it!

Post # 14
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think that sounds totally fine! Only two repeat guests, that’s nothing. Parents attend no matter what anyway. And you’ll probably have fun planning together. The only thing I’d sorry about is interfering with her honeymoon plans, but you probably have discussed that since you said she’s ok with it!

Post # 15
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I think its fine in theory, but with bachelorettes, showers, family etc it will be a busy time for both of you. Monetarily, too.

Post # 16
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I have 3 married DD’s and 1 who is engaged.  2 are stepdd’s.

My oldest dd got engaged and set a date for 2005.  My 18 you stepdd SECRETLY set a date for 3 weeks before DD’s wedding.  Things blew up and didn’t go well and they ended up being 3 months apart.

Since I was the stepmom for the one wedding I got all kinds of remarks from DH’s family, which is ginormous. They didn’t appreciate 2 showers and 2 weddings and all the travel that involved in a 10 week timeframe.  I didn’t blame them.

I can tell you that in our family we usually host their weddings and there is a strict policy of only paying for one wedding in a 12 month timeframe.  We did not host stepdd’s wedding or give her nearly as much money because she chose to have her wedding so close to the other one.  We gave her the option of more financial help if she waited, but at 18 you know what you are doing and your parents are wrong.

Now, I don’t mean to be snarky here or rain on your parade, but if a DW were involved in the mix that just wouldn’t fly to have them a month apart.  That is asking a TON of your family and guests and we would have to decline.

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