Post # 1
Hi everyone, I was just wondering if any of you had the same conundrum. I would LOVE my sister to be my bridesmaid (love love love her!), but at the same time I’m a little reluctant because while we love each other to death, we both have very different interests, and even just a trip to the mall together could turn into a great annoyance. I think she understands my personality well and my MANY quirks… i’m off the beaten path, down to earth, and laid back while she’s pretty “normal” and slightly more prissy, and easily aggravated…
Any of you ladies have this problem? I can think of no one more I’d want to be my maid of honor, but I’m afraid of it turning into a disaster… also, we currently both live in different states.
Post # 3
It’s ultimately up to you. You say you love her so why not? A Bridesmaid doesn’t have to do much but get her dress and show up so your different interests shouldn’t effect that. If you wanted to make her a MOH though that might be a little different because if her tastes are way different she may say no to everything you like or be bossy about HER wants and if she lives in another state, unless she plans on traveling many times to do MOH duties for you (which it sounds like she prob won’t) then I’d think twice about that one.
Post # 4
I guess it depends on how you envision the MOH’s role, i.e. whether you want her as MOH primarily to honor *her*, or to do stuff for *you*.
I had both my sisters as MOH’s. They both live out of state and are very busy (one works insane hours; the other also has a demanding full-time job, plus a one-year-old), so I had no illusions about them being around to tie ribbons on programs, go dress shopping with me, etc., but that stuff just wasn’t a big deal to me. I asked them to pick out their own dresses in the wedding colors, figure out their own shoes, jewelry, and hair, etc., and it was great. (Our wedding was pretty low-key overall). They did have a lovely shower for me during a family get-together; we skipped the bachelorette, because it’s not really my kind of thing anyway. Worked out great.
If you are doing something more elaborate and you think it’s going to be really important to have someone there to help you, then maybe not – it just depends on your expectations. Would you be fine with giving your sister color/style guidelines and letting her pick out her own clothes?
Post # 5
Thanks ladies, I completely spaced. I meant MOH and not just a bridesmaid. My wedding is also going to be VERY low key, as I’m a really earthy, no-fuss kind of girl, but I do want it to be special. I wouldn’t need her to do a lot for me, just not get in super b*** mode… It’d be more of an honor to her (because I love her). She will definitely be a bridesmaid regardless, but I have mixed feelings about MOH.
Post # 6
My sister and I are like night and day right down to our looks. We love each other a lot though. She was married in July of the past year and our youngest sister and I were a bridesmaids. Originally I wasn’t going to be as my 5 month old was with me but another maid had to drop out last minute due to an emergency. I was also her MC. I was heavily envolved in helping her plan & bounce ideas off of & I made the slide show for the reception, too. Anything she needed while planning or at the day of I did to the best of my ability. She was my sister and I wanted her to have a great day.
Now that i’m planning my wedding for November she is helping me out a ton. She’s been there to bounce ideas off of & help me plan a lot of things out. She has also offered to do hair and makeup for the day (and she is awesome at hair and makeup!). She will be standing with me as a bridesmaid, too. Even though we are super different we both understand that it was the others special day and worked hard to make sure it was special.
I think that your sister is a great choice for MOH as long as she is commited to it being YOUR special day 🙂
Post # 7
One thing to consider is if she would be offended if you chose someone else as a MOH instead. My sister and I sometimes don’t get along great, and so I asked my best friend to be my MOH and (even though we don’t see eye-to-eye on several things) my sister was a little upset. As of right now though, my sister is still a BM.
As long as she understands that it’s YOUR day and not HERS, it sounds like she would be a good MOH. If she starts planning her wedding instead of yours, that could be problematic (that’s happened to me with my sister a few times… it’s annoying).