Sister dating SO's closest friend

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes.

Post # 3
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

DariaVixen:  Be happy for your sister and your SO’s friend. Maybe they have found something as wonderful and special as you and your SO have.

As far as getting tangled and messed up, cross that bridge if you ever come to it. And, FWIW, they could be thinking the same thing about your relationship!

Post # 4
Member
2549 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I can understand your worry, since it would put you (or them) in an awkward situation if either relationship ended…. but it seems that they’re really hitting it off and have only made each other better people.  Relax!  And enjoy the double dates with your favorite people in the world!

Post # 5
Member
988 posts
Busy bee

Just out of curiousity, if there was a resounding response of, “no…you have every right to be concerned” What would you do? Tell them they have to break up?

The way I see it, there are really only two possible outcomes. Either they stay together and you get to be a part of some pretty fantastic double-dates the rest of your life or they break up and everyone does the adult thing and moves on with their lives. I know you can’t predict the future, but unless you forsee this guy doing something terrible to cause a bad breakup (cheating, abuse, etc) it really isn’t worth your time worrying about.

If it helps any, my FI’s mom’s best friend is married to her brother. It’s adorable…the family is so close and there is never any in-law drama because they were already all such great friends before anybody got married.

Post # 6
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

DariaVixen:  I wouldn’t say that you’re immature and unjustified because I think you’re secretly hoping that it’ll work out and be the two neighbours across the road from each other however IF it happens to not work out, where will you guys be?  He’ll be his friend and obviously she’s still going to be your sister but you may not be ever able to hang out together IF they break up.  Basically I’m saying that you’re afraid that might happen.

However, until the time MAY come, I’d enjoy going out for couples’ dates and just enjoy it.  If you’re feeling like you haven’t had any one on one time with your sister, tell her that but leave everything else (meaning your fears) out of it.  Just have fun that the two most important people in your and your FI’s lives have found each other!

Post # 9
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

DariaVixen:  You are not wrong for having the feelings you have – for worrying about your group dynamic and missing your sister. However, there isn’t much you can do at this point – they are involved, they are happy for now, and there’s no turning back. Enjoy it, make time for a girls night to catch up with your sister, and be her shoulder to lean on if things do go wrong.

Post # 10
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

DariaVixen:  How would you feel if your sister were thinking the very same thing?

Post # 11
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think their relationship really has to have anything to do with you or your SO. Your sister has never been this happy; support her and don’t think of the negative. I don’t get the jealousy when obviously you have your SO in your life, why shouldn’t she have that too? If either of you guys were to break up, I don’t see any problems arising then either. In short: be happy for your sister that she found someone and don’t make this a problem when it doesn’t need to be one.

Post # 12
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in a somewhat similar situation, and I can relate to your feelings.  My SO’s brother is married to my best friend.  Best friend and I have known each other since we were kids, long before either of us met our partners.  SO and I got together shortly after best friend and her husband got married.

On the one hand, the idea of me and my best friend someday being SILs is awesome and so fun to think about.  But, especially early on in the relationship, it was also stressful.  What if we break up?  How will that affect my friendship?  Best friend and her husband went through a rough patch at one point and I briefly worried, what if they break up?   Obviously my #1 concern would be helping my best friend through her divorce, but the fact that I would still be dating and living with her brother-in-law added an extra layer of worry. The whole thing has the potential to be very bad.

 

But luckily, it hasn’t been.  Best friend and her husband are strong as ever, and my and my SO are headed toward marriage.  Everyone has an individual relationship with one another, that wouldn’t be broken if any one couple broke up.  

Ultimately, you’re not wrong to have those thoughts, but you have to set them aside and be happy for your sister.  And enjoy the closeness of your little group, no matter how long it lasts.

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

Although I will add, it has changed the dynamic of my relationship with my best friend a little bit.  Sometimes I can tell she holds back about discussing her problems with her husband with me, I think because she doesn’t want me to discuss it with his brother.  We’ve had very frank conversations about this, and I’ve told her that I would never share anything she tells me in confidence, but I can tell it’s still a little too close for comfort for her.  It makes me slightly sad, but ultimately it’s okay.  We are still wonderful friends and we will always be there for each other.  It has also made us closer in other ways.  I think SO and his brother have also become closer, because they hang out a lot more now without even trying, since best friend and I are often together.

Post # 15
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can understand your anxiety somewhat, but since there haven’t been any issues at all I would just enjoy this really awesome situation. My husband’s best friend is my best friend’s husband and it’s pretty much the best.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors