(Closed) Sister didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: would you confront her?
    yes : (100 votes)
    60 %
    no : (63 votes)
    38 %
    other : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    WHOA! i don’t want to jump all over your sister but whooaaaaaaaa. IF that’s the reason then that’s fcked up. i would absolutely bring it up to her in as nice a way as possible.

    Post # 4
    2254 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wouldn’t confront her. If you confront her, it makes everyone uncomfortable. Would you want to be in a bridal party where the bride caved in bc she felt guilty or feared you would be mad? No one wins in that situation.

    For whatver reason she has, she gets to choose her bridal party. Hopefully, it’s not bc of the weight issue. Good luck!

    Post # 5
    8473 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Number one, you don’t lose weight for anyone but yourself. Secondly, she has to realize that you are wondering why you weren’t asked. Hopefully she will come around to you and explain why you were not chosen. 

    If she doesn’t and you’d feel better confronting her, tell her exactly what you have probably already rehearsed in your head. I think it’s a rotten thing that she would not include you because of your weight. And that’s sugar coating how I really feel about that. 

    Post # 6
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @landc2013:  I would at least ask her if the rumor she only wanted “thin” girls for BMs was true. I would tell her you are very hurt but you respect her decision.

    For what it’s worth, I’m a size 24. I WISH I was a size 14. Size 14 is thin in my book. I’m sure you are just beautiful.

    Post # 7
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would suspect there is more to the story that you may not be sharing, or you just dont see. 

    If you are upset, feel free to ask her why, but be nice about it. You dont want her getting real defensive and not discussing it with you instead of having a rational conversation.

    Post # 8
    4336 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Do NOT confront her. She can ask whoever the heck she wants, for whatever reason, it’s her wedding, and if she’s going to shoot herself in the foot and regret not having you in her wedding 20 years later, that’s her problem. I’m sure she has her reasons, like PP said mabye there’s more to the story, so don’t make it worse by asking her.

    Post # 9
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I understand the rationale behind letting it go.. but personally i could NOT do that. I have 3 sisters and if I wasn’t asked to be in one of their bridal parties I would definitely want to know why. But it totally depends on your individual relationship with your sister so no one should judge you for either decision you make. 

    Good luck! That really sucks 🙁

    Post # 10
    6826 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Please let it go. It is not required for your sister to have you in her wedding. Just be happy for her. 

    Post # 11
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I am not a big believer in confrontation AT all but in this case – I think it’s necessary.  Don’t put her on the defensive but I would as her for her reasoning – this is just not nice at all.

    Post # 14
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    I almost did not invite my sister into the bridal party. But we have the opposite problem. She and I are nearly 5 years apart and we are not close. I and my two bridesmaids are plus sized but my sister is a size 6 model. My mother guilted me into inviting her. I was relunctant, but didnt want to cause drama so I invited her and she accepted. She has shown no interest in me or my wedding since and we probably won’t talk again until the day of when she comes into town.

    I voted no for confronting her, because it won’t make you or her feel better and it would only get you a grudging invite to the bridal party.  But you know your sister best. 


    Post # 15
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    What good would possibly come from confronting her? I know your hurt that she didn’t include you, but IMO approaching her about it won’t do any good. The damage to your relationship has already been done and a conversation won’t undo it. She’s very likely to react negatively, since you already made a conscious decision to exclude you. Besides, do you think that hearing her reason would really make you feel better? Or would it just lead to more arguing and hurt feelings?

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