Post # 1
I need advice. My sister just got engaged this past summer and I assummed that I would atleast be in the bridal party. The wedding isn’t until next summer so I thought that maybe she hadn’t picked her party yet. I found out through another family member that she already asked everyone who she wanted to be a bridesmaid and she picked her maid of honor as well. I knew she would pick her best friend as her maid of honor, but I was suprised that she didn’t pick me to be a bridesmaid. We grew up very close and she asked our other sister to be in the bridal party. My feelings are hurt because I heard rumors that she only wanted thin girls in the wedding. She did joke about how she wanted to make sure her pictures will be perfect and all the girls are atleast size 6 or smaller. The weird thing is she’s at least a 10 but she has been dieting and working out. I’m a street size 14 and I would have tried to lose weight for her. I don’t know if I should confront her about it or if I should leave it be?
Post # 3
WHOA! i don’t want to jump all over your sister but whooaaaaaaaa. IF that’s the reason then that’s fcked up. i would absolutely bring it up to her in as nice a way as possible.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t confront her. If you confront her, it makes everyone uncomfortable. Would you want to be in a bridal party where the bride caved in bc she felt guilty or feared you would be mad? No one wins in that situation.
For whatver reason she has, she gets to choose her bridal party. Hopefully, it’s not bc of the weight issue. Good luck!
Post # 5
Number one, you don’t lose weight for anyone but yourself. Secondly, she has to realize that you are wondering why you weren’t asked. Hopefully she will come around to you and explain why you were not chosen.
If she doesn’t and you’d feel better confronting her, tell her exactly what you have probably already rehearsed in your head. I think it’s a rotten thing that she would not include you because of your weight. And that’s sugar coating how I really feel about that.
Post # 6
@landc2013: I would at least ask her if the rumor she only wanted “thin” girls for BMs was true. I would tell her you are very hurt but you respect her decision.
For what it’s worth, I’m a size 24. I WISH I was a size 14. Size 14 is thin in my book. I’m sure you are just beautiful.
Post # 7
I would suspect there is more to the story that you may not be sharing, or you just dont see.
If you are upset, feel free to ask her why, but be nice about it. You dont want her getting real defensive and not discussing it with you instead of having a rational conversation.
Post # 8
Do NOT confront her. She can ask whoever the heck she wants, for whatever reason, it’s her wedding, and if she’s going to shoot herself in the foot and regret not having you in her wedding 20 years later, that’s her problem. I’m sure she has her reasons, like PP said mabye there’s more to the story, so don’t make it worse by asking her.
Post # 9
I understand the rationale behind letting it go.. but personally i could NOT do that. I have 3 sisters and if I wasn’t asked to be in one of their bridal parties I would definitely want to know why. But it totally depends on your individual relationship with your sister so no one should judge you for either decision you make.
Good luck! That really sucks 🙁
Post # 10
Please let it go. It is not required for your sister to have you in her wedding. Just be happy for her.
Post # 11
I am not a big believer in confrontation AT all but in this case – I think it’s necessary. Don’t put her on the defensive but I would as her for her reasoning – this is just not nice at all.
Post # 12
@DecoMeOut: That’s the thing I don’t understand. In my eyes I was always closer to her than our other sister. We are only 3years apart and I’ve always been there for her unconditionally. I was the one that helped her when she got pregnant at 16. I helped her with her daughter so she could finish school. I didn’t go to school out of state because I knew she needed help because she was so young. I sacrificed a lot for her and the least she could do is include me.
Post # 13
@Sassygrn: I am happy for her, I’m just not happy with her reasonings. I will be engaged soon and I would still have her in my party.
Post # 14
I almost did not invite my sister into the bridal party. But we have the opposite problem. She and I are nearly 5 years apart and we are not close. I and my two bridesmaids are plus sized but my sister is a size 6 model. My mother guilted me into inviting her. I was relunctant, but didnt want to cause drama so I invited her and she accepted. She has shown no interest in me or my wedding since and we probably won’t talk again until the day of when she comes into town.
I voted no for confronting her, because it won’t make you or her feel better and it would only get you a grudging invite to the bridal party. But you know your sister best.
Post # 15
What good would possibly come from confronting her? I know your hurt that she didn’t include you, but IMO approaching her about it won’t do any good. The damage to your relationship has already been done and a conversation won’t undo it. She’s very likely to react negatively, since you already made a conscious decision to exclude you. Besides, do you think that hearing her reason would really make you feel better? Or would it just lead to more arguing and hurt feelings?
Post # 16
@VAwife: Don’t know, I just feel terrible about the situation.