Post # 1
I just recently became engaged and my dear FI and I are starting our wedding planning. I am widowed and had a large formal wedding when I married my dear late husband. However, dear fiance has never been married before. We would both like to have a large wedding as we have a lot of friends. However, my sister thinks its tacky because I’ve been married before. As it is, I don’t want any showers because we don’t need anything ( we have two fully furnished homes that we are going to have to merge into one and no bachelorette party ( I’m 51 , dear fiance is 62 and I just don’t see the need.) Is it tacky for us to have a large wedding?
Sis and I are Aldo disagreeing regarding whether I should wear a wedding dress. Yes, I am
51, but I look much younger and would love to wear the JBS Michael Cinco replica in blush.
What do you all think?
Post # 2
Who cares what your sister thinks – it’s not her wedding. You’d think she’d be supportive that you’ve found love again and want to celebrate it with friends.
Wear the wedding dress you want and invite who you want.
Post # 3
wifetobee63: not even gonna read your post.
1. Is she paying?
2. Is a big wedding what YOU want?
If the answers are no, and yes, respectively, then I say, sis gets no say.
ETA: now I’ll go read, but I think I’ll feel the same way.
Post # 4
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
I think it’s kind of silly. You’re not having a shower which I think is more suited for younger couples or those just starting out, so why is it innapropriate? As you said, your fiance has never been married before, so why should his age stop him from having one now if he wants one? I don’t see this as tacky at all, you’re allowed to celebrate your love in the way that makes you both happy.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
It’s his wedding too. Have want YOU want. No one will judge. A wedding is a celebration. If you want to celebrate and have all your friends and family.. DO IT!
Post # 6
wifetobee63: Invite your sister to plan her own wedding so that what she has to say will actually matter to someone.
Post # 7
When my grandmother got remarried (not sure what age she was, but old enough to have grandkids at least!) she had a large wedding with all her friends and family. It wasn’t tacky at all, it was beautiful.
Post # 8
It’s not your sister’s wedding, it’s yours so who cares what she thinks. As long as your fiancé is onboard, have the wedding you two want. Same goes for your dress.
Post # 9
that seems silly to me. I have only heard of previously divorced brides toning down their second wedding in order to avoid being tacky, but honestly that still seems weird to me. If it’s your 3rd or 4th wedding then yes, you don’t need the big hub-bub.
This is clearly not the case here, you did not divorce. You should not be punished for finding two great loves in your life. Plus this is something special your FI should get to experience, too. He shouldn’t have to give this up because he found you later in life.
have a big wedding if you want to!
Post # 10
wifetobee63: Its your day, you have the wedding you would like. You deserve it. Tell her to shove it.
Post # 11
wifetobee63: I think that you should have the wedding that you and your Fiance want, it’s not about your sister. If my sister was trying to tell me what to do for my wedding, I’d tell her “This is what FI and I want, and that’s how it’s going to be.” If she’s not going to be supportive of you with it then I think you should just stop talking to her about it. I’m sorry she’s not being supportive of you.
Post # 12
wifetobee63: i think you should have a big wedding and the dress you want. If i went i wouldnt see it as tacky at all. esp since you are widowed and your future husband has never married before. i think your sister might be a bit green.
Post # 13
I actually feel the same way as you all. My sister and I have an odd relationship. My DLH was a friend of hers and she was my maid of honor. When he died (we lost him 13 years ago in the line of duty -he was a firefighter) she told me on the day of the funeral that it was my fault that in married someone who died young (?). She’s been married for 30+ years now and I think she is unhappy so she just wants to be negative and drive me crazy.
It might also be that,when I get married, I’ll be moving from the NorthEast to the South and we’re the oonly family other than our kids and her husband that we have left. Maybe she doesn’t want me to move..who knows?
I feel like that, not only is my wedding a celebration of a live that neither of us expected to ever find, but also a celebration of the fact that I was widowed with 4 young children and now, 13 years later, I have 4 well- adjusted adult kids all who either graduated or are attending college and are productive people. Dear fiance wants to have my 3 sons as his best men and I’m having my daughter as my maid of honor.
Post # 14
wifetobee63: Make a deal with your sister. You plan your life. She plans hers.
Post # 15
wifetobee63: I think your plans are beautiful. And you’re right, you’ve earned this-being happy, I mean. As a pp said, its wonderful that you were able to come across two great loves in your life.
Besides, 13 years is a long time to wait. Its not like DLH just passed away this year.
BTW, I knew it. Read the post, I stand by my first response.