- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Awww big hug....
You are put in a tough position...however, J seems to be making the situation worse, whereas E is trying to repair the relationship? (I hope i'm understanding this correctly)
You definitely shouldn't apologize..you're not in the wrong here and if anything, she should apologize to you! It's your big day and if she is immature and puts up an attitude well, whatever....she needs to get over it and be there for her sister (you). Otherwise, as hard as it will be on you, you can't compromise and go crawling to her. You have to stand firm.(i've been a pushover before too..i can understand)...maybe she just needs a breather from the family.....and unfortunately, if she can't get her head together by the time of your wedding or with the preparations (if she's in your wedding party) then that's just too bad.
I'm glad you didn't lose relationships with both your sisters.
Family can be so much fun. J sounds quite a lot like FI's younger sister, except she's 25 and just acts 15, throwing full-on tantrums and taking advantage of her parents. We have noticed some improvements in the last 6 months, but there really isn't any reasoning with her when she gets going. Eventually, she cools down and things go back to the uneasy truce.
Good for your mother and for you for standing up to her emotional outburst. While it's very sad to think she may miss out on your wedding, it's only going to enable further outbursts if you go back and apologize. At least E sounds like she has a better head on her shoulders. Hopefully, J will take a cue from E and come around.
Best of luck and stay strong!
s08_8567_2_psd.jpg (10.1 KB, 32 downloads) 2 years old 
I hate to make this comparison, but it's really true - you need to watch The Dog Whisperer. Good behavior gets rewarded; bad behavior does not. Your younger sister is trying to behave appropriately, and make up for what, in her case, is probably just imitation of the older sister - and obviously that should be rewarded. The problem with treating the older sister similarly (for instance, inviting her to the birthday party and allowing her to be in the wedding) if she continues to behave badly is that you not only reward her bad behavior, but in the end the younger sister probably can't help wondering why she's trying so hard, if behaving badly gets you all the same benefits.
The older sister clearly has some issues - skipping school, possibly not graduating, treating your mom badly, foul language - that may be indicative of other problems, and just hoping she will behave better in the future is probably not going to help. People, like animals, have more incentive to change when they see some disadvantage to behaving badly. But you should also urge your mom to try to get her some counseling - the school probably has a program, or can recommend one.
Your seventeen year old sister sounds a little bit like my 21 year old sister.. but she's grown out of it. When she was 17, she was a hell raiser.
I think you should suck it up and apologize so she spends your day with you, after that... let her do what she wants. I would feel terrible if my sister wasnt at my wedding. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person.
Where is your sister if she's cut off ties? She's only 17... who is she living with? If she is still with you rparents they should be able to deal with her. The thing that helped us with my sister was she joined the marines- she was sent home after a month because she broke her shoulder. She's a whole new person, she realized what we meant to her and although she still sometimes gets that attitude it's nothing compared to what it was.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 50 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 37 |
| beargoose | 34 |
| ndreighton | 33 |
| Mrs.KMM | 31 |
| BetterSherm | 30 |
| Beckster329 | 28 |
| akp0702 | 27 |
| Gemstone | 26 |
| KatNYC2011 | 22 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Rojocameo | 9 |
| keranos | 7 |
| armychica06 | 2 |
| Sasha2011 | 1 |
| Wonderstruck | 1 |
| bookworm88 | 1 |
| hammerpants | 1 |
| MrsTimmy | 1 |
| MrsElopement | 1 |
| red dino | 1 |
Around Memorial Day, my mom, I, Fi, Step dad, aunt & uncle, cousin, and two sister went camping for the holiday. We also got to spend time with my mom's side of the family, who we only get to see once a year... around christmas.
During the camping event, my sister, J, had the worst attitude ever and was treating everyone like complete s*$%! Here is a little more background on my sister, J. She is 17, acts like she knows everything, has missed 50+ days of school, and isn't considerate to anyone else, pretty much she is completely selfish. My other sister, E, was doing the same thing and cussing like a sailor. Ever other word out of her mouth is f#%*, etc. She is similar to J but she has less of an attitude and just doesn't like to listen. E is 15.
Finally, my mom BLEW up at my sisters about how they treat, her like she was a rug and walk all over her. She laid into J about how many days of school she missed, and how she might not graduate. She also laid into her about her attitude and how she treat the family. Then she laid into E about how she cusses, her attitude, how she treats the family, and how neither of them don't respect anyone else.
J, freaked out and started annoucing that she didn't want to be apart of the family and didn't want to see us again. She also said she never wanted to see us again.
Due to how she treats our mom and how she treats the whole family, I blew up at her and told her she was immature, needed to grow up, act her age and be more respectful. She carried on and informed me she didn't want to be apart of the wedding (originally she was the maid of honor) and didn't want to be a part of her neice's life either. Yelled at my sister E to get into the car and took off.
Two weeks later she informed me that I couldn't pay her to come to the wedding (due to the fact I sided with Fi about a matter instead of my own sister). She also mentioned that she couldn't believe I expected her to come to the wedding. I tired not to lose my temper and informed her I haven't expect anything out of her for sometime and its her choice to attend the wedding or not. She said a few other rude comments but I didn't reply to them I just left it. I won't elebroate on them either.
E aplogized around the same time. She said she wasn't acting her age and that she should and needs to respect my mom.
My daughter's birthday is this weekend and I was hoping she would come to at least see her niece. E informed me J wouldn't be coming.
I don't know what to do anymore. My sister informed me the other one wasn't coming and I almost started balling. What would any of you do in this situation?
I don't feel like I should apoligze, since everything I told her is true. Should I just wait until she decides she is acting immature or should I make an effort to try and get her to talk to me.... and risk her starting more fights and drawing it out longer. I've just about given up.