Post # 1
So I was just wondering peoples opinion. My brother has been married to his wife for a little over 4 years and they have a son that I am close to. For a while the 3 of us were really close and I was even made their child’s god mother. Out of no where they (more her) got really weird with me and told me I dont treat her enough like a friend and she was always finding something i did wrong (gave a look, called my brother and not her, etc) We had quite a few arguments when she told my brother things that were far from the truth about me ignoring her at parties and not including her. Everyone around the situation knows that this is all crazy except my brother.. My family usually just appeases her so they can see my nephew, but I finally started to stand up for myself. Anyways, I knew the time for me to get get engaged was getting closer and i mulled it over about having her as a bridesmaid. I have 3 brothers and my fiance was nice enough to put them in the wedding. I didnt think it was a good fit for her to be a maid but I wanted her to be involved. Well my brother informed me before I was engaged that if she was not a bridesmaif then he was not goign to be in the wedding. This upset me but I made the decison that neither of them will be in. We no longer get along after this and my stomach is in knots over it, but i dont want to back down. She doesnt like me and wants to be in the wedding for show. I am wrong? I need peoples thougts.
Post # 3
@lisajason110814: Well first of all your brother needs to grow a pair….seriously! Missing your own sisters wedding because your wife is not a bridesmaid???? REALLY? how immature…..i could see raising an issue if she was banned from the premises….but just because shes not in it is taking it to a whole other level….i think your family needs to back you too….what horrid person holds their kid over seeing their grandparents and family because they dont get their way…..
I hate to say it….but at this point….her behavior nothing is going to change, if you put her in she will likely play maryter all day and make your life he**….you can only hope your brother comes to his senses, but i can bet shes pulling out all of the stops and stories if she hasnt already….turning him against you…..
Now her behavior is nothing I would ever condone, but can you think of even one instance prior to the problem where she could have taken something in an offensive way??? I doubt you have but hey you never know….either way her behavior is reprehensible….
my only theory as to why….is it sounds like she may have the only grandchild (correct me if im wrong,but when you say everyone goes out of their way to appease her to see the kiddo)…..and if soo….and even shs dosent….shes been very used to being the center of attention because she had the kiddo and everyone goes out of their way for her to appease her because she has the kiddo, which may mean that IF this just started when you got engaged or close to that time…..then she is likely playing these games to ensure she remains part of the center of attention. It sounds sick but you would be suprised how many women can be like that….
talk to your brother….all you can do is try….but DO NOT give in and have her in your wedding, it is YOUR wedding, not theirs! If your family insists she have a role….put in charge of guest book or something….
Post # 4
I wanted her to read or something.. yes they have the only grandchildren they now have 2 sons… the whole thing is really sad.. you are supposed to remove toxins from your life but they are my family… I dont want to remove them
Post # 5
If I had to make a guess AND what you are saying about this change in character coming out of the blue and not as a result of anything you may have done than she is absolutely trying to remain the center of attention. People like that never change. I don’t think its wrong to exclude them from the wedding because technically you aren’t, it was their decision to not support YOU. I’m sure this will blow over closer to the wedding but maybe you should sit them both down and clear the air. At least then you’d know that you did all you could do to make this better.
Post # 6
I think it would be best to just try to squash this. Ask her if the two of you can ge together and talk. Invite your brother too, and tell her you miss all of you being close. Somewhere along the way her feelings were hurt (maybe over something so small) and try to clear the air. I would try to be the bigger person and work this out instead of continuing on in the drama.