Post # 1
ok so i know its not my life and im really happy for her, as long as shes happy is all that matters cos she has to live her life for her,
but anyway, fiancess sister just broke up with her fiancee, who she had been dating for 6yrs.
she was really upset – as u can imagine, but it was for the best for both of them.
a week after she moves out of their place and moves home we hear she is in a relationship with someone else “but to the rest of the extended family they are just friends”
then a week after that she has moved in with the new guy and is now living with him.
literally maybe 2 weeks after breaking off her engagement. now i dont care as shes gotta be happy, but my fiancee (her brother) is really bothered by this, and is really quite rude to the new guy (who we met 1st time ysterday)
he said “i cant keep up, i only just got over her breaking up with luke now shes with adam?? ” i said to my FI that he needs to be civil and nice anyway. what do u think?
its a weird situation but i think FI needs to be supportive.
Post # 3
He certainly should be civil/polite to the new BF. Was he close with his sister’s ex? If so, I would imagine this is a shock to him and after 6 years, might feel like a huge loss, especially if he is unsure if he can continue a relationship with her ex. Have you checked in with him to see how he is processing the end of the relationship?
Post # 4
It’s not Adam’s fault. Does he still hang out with Luke?
Post # 5
Well….it’s a lot to process in such a short time, but the family needs to try to be as supportive as possible (within reason).
I would imagine that this “new” person *may* have been in the picture for longer than may be realized. Otherwise, she’s moving pretty fast and I’d maybe try to have a gentle conversation with her about not jumping into a new serious relationship too quickly.
Post # 6
exactly!!!! totally not adams fault!!! i said that to him,and i also asked him if he was feeling protective of his sister and he said no, i feel annoyed for myself, cos one minute we are celebrating her engagement to Luke and then shes ending things, then next thing she has a new boyfriend, then we find out shes moved in with him…
he got along great with Luke and luke dosnt know she has shacked up with someone else (at the mo they are on good terms , like friends etc) but if luke knew i dont think hed be happy. so FI feels sorta bad talking to luke knowing this is happening and not tellin him.
they used to go kart etc heaps together – FI and luke that is, so i think FI is feeling a bit sad….
Post # 7
Definitly be civil. I dated my ex for five years and when we broke up I was dating his best friend in less than two weeks and, due to circumstances surrounding my family and the break up, I had also moved in. Trust me, everyone was a bit judgemental at our situation and it sucked. I just trying to find my happy, but everyone else was too busy making gossip. Five years later now that guy is my FI and we’re happy as can be. Breaking up with my abusive ex was the best choice I’ve ever made even if the time line I chose did seem unconventional.
Also, this new guy may not be so new. Not saying she was cheating, but my FI and I moved fast at first because we had been in love with one another for quite awhile, never acting on it. He had been one of my best friends before I started dating the ex, so it seemed natural to us.
Post # 8
@Vidya: yes, i think these 2 have known each other a while but never acted on it.
i told FI that if i came into the family and his sister was aweful to me it would have been sooo hard and horrible. so he needs to try with Adam.
thanks for the advice. i might show him this post 😉