Sister in law's abusive boyfriend on guest list

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

It’s hard to defy an etiquette rule based on this person trespassing against your FSIL. But you can ABSOLUTELY ignore etiquette based on his trespass against you. I would use that as the explanation and not invite him.

“So and so is NOT invited. He stole from my home and is not invited to the wedding.”

Anyone who had a question would receive that same information and that would be it.

There is no fucking way I’d spend my time and money planning a beautiful wedding and have to have even one moment of worry about some jackass stealing things or getting drunk and acting a fool. Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even be willing to spend the extra money on security.

You don’t have to have a conversation with anyone about it. Make the decision and let people talk shit amongst themselves. Plan your wedding and enjoy your day. The issue may be your FI because he’s likely going to hear about it and then bug you. But he’ll eventually get it. A peaceful and joyous wedding day would be so worth it for me.

Post # 17
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

What TwilightRarity said – you don’t have to invite someone who has stolen from you, in your own home nonetheless!

Criminal behaviour is a good enough reason to excuse someone from the usual etiquette rules on who should be invited IMO.

Post # 18
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Yeah I don’t see how this is even a question. He stole from you. That’s a definite NOT INVITED in my mind. Does the SIL know that he stole from you?

Post # 19
Member
7658 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

are you close to your sister?  can you have an honest talk with her?

Post # 20
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Don’t invite him. As someone who grew up with an alcoholic parent I can guarantee you that no amount of discussion or even pleading will stop him from drinking at your weddig and acting in whatever manner he does when drunk.

Of you feel that the inlaws won’t accept that reason stick to the stealing as an excuse. I would defnitief not want someone at my wedding who has stolen from me.

Post # 21
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

sapphire27 :  Excellent point! 

I was reading comments and up until I got you yours I was like maybe it would be okay if they invited him. That reminder has me firmly in the camp of absolute do not invite. If someone is no longer allowed in your home, why tf would you want them at your wedding?

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