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Yeah that is insane. My FSIL (FI's sister) has been a pain trying to see if her possible fiance (they are just dating now) will be added as a groomsman if they get engaged and it really makes me angry for a variety of reasons I wrote in a post recently. You tried to satisfy her here, you did the right thing, she should back off. If she brings it up again, say that if it will make her feel better, you would be alright with your BIL skipping the limo, then any fall out of that is on the two of them.
@bearlove: I am sorry you are going through a similar thing!! It is so frustrating! You are right, I think I might tell her that her Husband should skip the limo if she is so upset then.
I know how you feel my fsil will not attend any event that I host including nieces parties baptisms etc because she wouldnt be the focus of attention if she did, sounds like your fsil is the same she needs to be bridesmaid or in the nice car so she can share your day. just remember its YOUR day x
@Firefliesflash: What is she to do in those two hours between the ceremony and reception? May I suggest that she catch up on reading the latest book called "How To Get Over Yourself -- What to Do When You Feel Entitled and Have a Stick Up Your Wazoo." (I have no idea if that is an actual title, but wouldn't it be great if it was?) Geez, she is an adult (physically, at least) so perhaps she can figure out some means of transportation concerning the wedding with other family members/friends. Don't let her make her survival on your wedding day something you have to resolve. Not your problem! Hang in there!
She has no right to be upset that she's not in th wedding party, especially when 2 of your sisters aren't even in the party! But what's the harm in letting her ride along in the limo. I mean, how would you feel if you went to a wedding where you weren't allowed to ride along with your fiance/husband for 2 hours? No offense but I wouldn't be happy about it either.
Tell her to go kick rocks with open-toed shoes. Your own sister isn't even in the wedding...tell her to build a bridge and get over it.
I don't understand why people think they can tell you what should take place at your wedding.
She's being idiotic and rude. Ignore her. You have already explained your reasoning. If she wants to harp on this for the next six months, let her.
This is why I am so glad Mr. LR is an only child and my brother isn't allowed to date until I have picked out his wife ;)
On a serious note, I am so sorry you are going through this! Like weddings aren't stressful enough!! I agree with PP, if she keeps throwing a fit and being immature, tell her that her SO does not have to ride in the limo and they can go together. She's being ridiculous. I am sure there is only enough room for the wedding party in the limo, and you can't include one non-wedding party person without including everyone else. Why can't weddings be easy?! Just kill her with kindness and look forward to your day!! Find some silver lining too, I know a girl who's mother, against her wishes, wore a CREAM dress to her wedding. Like, seriously MOB?! At least you don't have to deal with a woman like THAT!
Is she in 8th grade? Does your brother know what she's saying to you? Just curious...he can't side with you, but he might be able to get her to tone down the nasty remarks.
I think it's time to hid her status from your feed.
I'm just going to tag on to what the other posters say...this is YOUR wedding, hang in there! It's not at all your job to figure out what she should do with the two hours.
It has to be something in the air, illness perhaps, that is affecting fsils! Forget her! Dont let her bs ruin your day! Its your friggin limo so what you say goes!!
It's your choice not hers to be in the wedding party! I think it is even above and beyond of you to have her do a reading. Howeve,r I don't see the harm in the limo ride unless you just don't have enough room. I am having a limo/bus and all of the bridal party and their dates will be joining, in fact that's how it's always been around here because of the Catholic Weddings and their gaps before the reception.
@LisaC: You won't be happy but I bet you won't be a bear about it would you? Anyhow, to the OP, just ignore her. This is the begining of someone who is going to be a thorn in your flesh. Be careful from now on because she is showing you how she is going to be behaving from now on. DO.NOT.GIVE.IN.TO.HER.WISHES!! I am sure she can find something to do with herself for 2 hours. Your other sisters are not in the limo. Neither are your cousins or any of the other people. She should hang out with them. The nerve! I don't understand folks sometimes. And remove her from your feed since it seems to bother you.
She’s a looney tune. If my SIL would have pulled that shit I would have laughed right in her face. She needs to get over it. From the sounds of it, you two aren’t that particularly close so it makes absolutely no sense to include her when you have a mile long list of important women in your life that you have to exclude. No-one gets a free pass to be a bridesmaid. Just because she’s married to your FBIL doesn’t automatically deem her a bridesmaid. My SIL (DH’s brothers wife) wasn’t involved in our wedding at all and she didn’t cry about it like a little girl.
@LisaC: I would let her ride in the limo but its really unfair to my two Bridesmaids and his other Groomsmen. ALSO, she has a kid who is going to the wedding, so I just don't understand why she would be so obssessed with getting in the limo. I am guessing her plan has been to get in the limo and stick her kid with another family member.
I don't think you have to do anything. Even though she's acting like a child, you don't have to parent her! And FWIW, she isn't even going to be your SIL, she will just be your BIL's wife! That's a little too far removed for her to be in the bridal party, I think. Jeez.
I think she's only making herself look stupid. I think the reason she could be freaking out is because she gets her self-worth from what other people do to recognize her. Is it possible to give her a job? I know you probably don't want to... but would it really make the b**** feel any better if she was a part of it in some way? That's just if you think it may stop the drama. Either way, it's silly and foolish and not hurting you in any way. I think your reasons are totally legit.
Your Fiance's Brother's wife???? This is not even like your fiance's sister?!
Tell her to change her diaper cause she sure is a big baby.
@Aubergold: wow I didn't realize this. I was thinking younger FI's actual sister. Sorry!
Tell her to go kick rocks with open-toed shoes. Your own sister isn't even in the wedding...tell her to build a bridge and get over it.
HA Great advice!
Anyway. This woman is being a total nightmare. To say her behavior is rude is a huge understatement. Other people are telling you to ignore her, but I say nip it in the BUD, sister! Tell her that posting on FB & making snide remarks is childish & should only show her why she isn't being included.
If you're not that confrontational, however, just have your FI talk to her. It sounds like she's used to getting what she wants & being told she isn't in the wrong. I suggest you or someone tell her how ridiculous her behavior is & that it's stressing you out. if she has an oz. of class, she'll shut the heck up. Whatever you do, DON'T BACK DOWN. It's *your* day & you're being perfectly reasonable in this situation!
Good luck!
@SimplyChic11: I asked her if she wanted to do a reading at the reception and she acted like she was doing me a favor and only would agree if I let her in the limo!
@Firefliesflash: You've done all you can so don't feel bad! What does FI say about this?
@Firefliesflash: OMG! I just posted something about my crazy future SIL a few days ago! She FLIPPED when she found out she wasn't in the wedding! She went to other brides (friends of ours) and told them I was trying to top their wedding and blah blah blah. (anyone who knows me knows I'm not that kind of person). I'm actually debating wether or not she is even invited at this point!
I don't understand why she even feels a right to be in your wedding or make you feel bad about a 2 hour limo ride? It's not about her and her husband seeing eachother on that day... It's all about you and the love you have with you FI. If she doesn't like it do a head table too :) that will make her REALLY happy :)
Wow, she has some major issues. Definitely don't give in because she will just make your wedding day miserable. She has to get over herself, not everyone gets to ride in the limo but it's only for like an hour total. It's pretty selfish of her to turn down doing a reading just because she didn't get what she wanted. I would take that as a sign that you should actually try to keep her further away.
@Firefliesflash: so I just don't understand why she would be so obssessed with getting in the limo.
There is something about limos that make some people lose their minds. At my mothers funeral one of my family members felt slighted because they weren't invited to ride with me but my BFF who my mom considered as a daughter was. She wasn't originally supposed to ride with me, but because my moms sister and wasn't able to get a visa to attend so now I had two spots to fill. So I had my BFF (of almost 30 years) and husband come instead. So my family member made a comment while standing behind me. She askes my BFF "Whose going in the limo?" My BFF mentions thats she's now going with me. And I hear "Well I guess I'm not important enough" . Did I mention that this was lliterally as my mom was being pallbeared out of church to the hearse. Classy right. Bee's I wanted to slap her so badly but I had to keep my composure. Ummm is a freaking FUNERAL not a VIP club outing. People are simply stupid.
@Firefliesflash: Sigh....my (unfortunately) life! Except FBIL's GF is too passive agressive to say anything to my face. She felt all her entitlement to be in my wedding behind my back! She made FBIL ask FMIL if she thought she would be a BM. FMIL tells FH so he goes back to his brother who says "well it would make her really happy if she could be a BM." Really GF, I'm glad that my wedding should make YOU happy.
Ugh this went on all summer and it still pisses me off. Allegedly FBIL is about to dump her anyway, now FH's whole family is saying "oh, good thing she isn't a BM!"
Its your day and she will have to get over it! Just try not to do anything to antagonize her, have as little contact with her as possible and be polite.
Good luck!
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I have 3 sisters, 4 cousins and several close friends so when choosing bridesmaids it was really difficult for me. I ended up just having 2, one of my sisters and one of my cousins. It was one of those things where I could either have like 2 or 20 bridesmaids so I chose 2.
Everyone has taken it well...except for my Fiance's Brother's wife (My future SIL)! She has been making all sorts of snide remarks about me not making her one of the Bridesmaids! I explained to her I was only going to have 2 and I hope she understood. Well, she said she did, but every chance she gets she is saying nasty things. Like one of our mutual friends just got married and posted pictures of the bridal party on FB and my future SIL commented saying "Oh, it was so nice for Michelle to include her future Sister in law!" then the other day she made her status "My wedding made EVERYONE feel included, didn't it?" There is going to be about 2 hour gap between our ceremony and reception and everytime I see future SIL she always asks me "So..since I can't go in the limo with my husband, what am I supposed to do in those 2 hours?"
I figured I would try to make her feel included by asking if she wanted to do a reading during the wedding ceremony. Her answer was "..Well, okay..only if I can ride in the limo." I told her no, because I am not letting my sister and cousin who are both married bring their husbands in the limo. So she said "..Then I am going to pass..sorry."
I think her issue is the fact she is a psycho jealous chick who watches her Husband 24/7 therefore is convinced he is somehow going to find someone to cheat with in the limo. All of this is just pissing me off and I just don't know what to do anymore! Help!!