(Closed) sister inlaw im very confused

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If it bothers both of you, can you decline attending family get togethers? It’s not worth it for both of you to be upset. Would your husband be okay with not going to family functions if they are attending? 

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Every advice column out there says “Mind your own business! Stay out of it!” but honestly, if I knew anyone even remotely well, I would let the innocent party know.

That or avoid seeing them ever.

Post # 5
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

has he told your husband that he is unhappy?

They might just be happy together, maybe they have an agreement or an open marriage.

If he is okay with it and happy, then maybe you should just ignore it.

Post # 7
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It isn’t yours to understand. Some men get off on the idea of their wife with another man, others don’t care. You don’t get to decide what constitutes a happy marriage for anyone but yourself.

Post # 8
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsBroccoli:  What party?  She stated the husband knows and is okay with it.

 

@suez:  OP, honestly, if they’re happy with their situation, I would let it be. Like previously stated, they may have agreed on an open arrangement, which is fine.  As long as everyone’s happy, I see no problem.  I would try and figure out why this upsets you and your husband so much.

Post # 9
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@suez:  my husbands brother knows about it and doesnt care


I don’t see what the problem is, then. He has all the information he needs, for all you know they have an open marriage and it isn’t cheating. He could even be having his moments with other women, but is more inconspicuous about it so nobody knows except his wife. Stop assuming their happiness is fake, and maybe it’ll be easier for you to have a good time around them.

Post # 10
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Erin418:  You don’t get to decide what constitutes a happy marriage for anyone but yourself.

Perfectly put.  Just because the way your SIL and BIL’s relationship fuctions isn’t the way you would conduct your own relationship, does not mean they aren’t happy.  Or are “pretending” to be happy.  Unless they expressed being unhappy to you, then you have no way of knowing that to be the case.

Post # 11
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Jesh. That’s pretty judgemental on your part. Obviously they have an arrangement, and most likely, your sister in law isn’t the only one moving around in the bed department. But if that isn’t it, there may be a personal or medical issue that prevents them being intimate. Or your brother in law may not be the one to want to do it. 

The fact that you cant see that not all relationships are black and white is alarming. Mind your own business and avoid family parties if it makes you comfortable. The only person who looks bad in this equation is you. 

Post # 12
Member
5111 posts
Bee Keeper

@MrsBroccoli:  This…

I am not one to keep my mouth shut in these types of things. I just can’t do it… It has bitten me in the ass a few times, but it all works out in the end. It can get pretty rough seas for a long time though.

Post # 13
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ChuckNorris:  But who are you going to tell?

The husband knows and is okay with it.  They’re happy.  No one is getting hurt from what information we’ve been given here.

Post # 14
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Vidya:  Oops I missed that.  Lack of punctuation and all.

In that case, everyone knows and no one cares? So… if you’re uncomfortable, then you’re the one who needs to remove yourself from events because they are allowed to do what they want. Sorry their setup makes you uncomfortable. I’d be weirded out if either of them started bringing other people around, but yeah.

Post # 15
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsBroccoli:  Quite understandable :3

Post # 16
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It’s none of your business, nor is it your place to judge. Different relationships have a different dynamic. Perhaps, their relationship is an open one. In this case, it’s not cheating. He’s likely doing the same thing. Either way, get over yourself.

Otherwise, just continue to do what you’re doing. You have absolutely no right to go in there and tell people how they should feel about their own lives. 

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