Sister inviting herself to our elopement??? Really???

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

“i’m sorry, but it will be a private ceremony with only he and i. we will see you when we get back!”

Post # 4
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@cuppeeecakes:  First off–Your wedding sounds like it’s going to be AMAZING. Beyond amazing!

Secondly–Definitely let her know it’s just going to be you and him in Europe, but that you look forward to celebrating with her when you get back!

Post # 6
3835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cuppeeecakes:   Just tell her straight out you will look forward to celebrating after you return home.  Don’t be at all apologetic or make excuses, or answer if she asks for a reason.  You are eloping.  Your plans sound wonderful and I hope you have a fabulous time!!!

Post # 8
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just flat out tell her it’s JUST for the two of you, but that you can all have dinner when you get back. 😛

Post # 10
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Just say that you’re having a private ceremony and that nobody else is going. She can’t invite herself lol. 

I know it’s difficult, but just tell her the truth. 

Post # 11
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@cuppeeecakes:  First off I’m jealous of your wedding already. ITALY! o how I wish. Now about your sister, I would just be very straight up with her and just tell her that its just for you two and that when you guys get back then you all can go out to dinner or whatever else you may like. Dont try and do the little hints or anything, most people either don’t catch them or else they just ignore them.

Post # 12
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@cuppeeecakes:  If it truly is the two of you, she should understand. When it comes to elopments many people just don’t get it. Of course they want to be involved. I would just be straight to the point. It’s not like you are inviting others and leaving her in the dust. Don’t drag it out and don’t make excuses.


P.S. I’m jealous of your plans. Sounds amazinggggg.

Post # 13
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would say, “We’ve always dreamed of this PRIVATE elopement in Italy, so it’s just going to be us!  Thank you for your interest, we’ll have to all go to dinner when we return to the US to celebrate!”

Note how there is no negative in there, no use of NO.  All positive with a positive solution at the end!

I hope she can comprehend that.

Post # 14
7207 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@colorofmyheart:  “i’m sorry, but it will be a private ceremony with only he and i. we will see you when we get back!”

The end and the period! And don’t offer ANY details, when your’re leaving, airport, hotel…nothing.

Post # 15
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@cuppeeecakes:  First, just tell her you really don’t want anyone else there, that it’s you and your husband’s special day to share together, and that she needs to respect that.

Then, “spill the beans” and tell her that you’re secretly getting married in Jamaica (and that she’s the only person you’ve told, of course).

Proceed to enjoy the following conversation as it unfolds:

Sister: “You lied to me!!! I spent all that money for NOTHING and you weren’t even there!”

You: “Oh WOW I didn’t expect you to actually JOIN us! Especially after telling you we didn’t want anyone else there in the first place! How sweet of you! MUAHAHAHA”

Post # 16
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Be blunt.

“It is called an Elopement cause it is JUST THE 2 OF US running off to get married privately… we will reconnect with all our Family & Friends when we get back”

Then stick by your guns

AND as many a Bride-2B has discovered on WBee… limit your talk about the Wedding with others… it causes less Drama / Trauma

If you haven’t shared exact details (ie Date, Location etc) I would encourage you not to.

Hope this helps, (( HUGS ))

Oh and for the record, Mr TTR & I Eloped to a Destination Wedding last Christmas, and we had 3 or 4 Couples seriously “suggest” that they wanted to come along for the trip / share with us.  So you aren’t alone.  We kept the major details to ourselves, and strongly told them NO.

Things got better once they knew all about the Back Home Reception Party after our Honeymoon.


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