(Closed) Sister is hurt that she has to share being maid of honor?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You kind of make it sound like, “she’s lucky I even asked her” which doesn’t seem like the greatest attitude. I think you need to calm down. She is entitled to her emotions – right or wrong – and both of you are acting a little immature.  You can apologize to her for hurting her feelings without apologizing for not making her the sole maid of honor. Hopefully she can apologize for how she expressed her hurt feelings.

Post # 5
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

umm no tell her to shut up. THe great thing with siblings is you don’t have to be as nice to them as friends. Tell her your choice is final and it too much of an imposition she doesn’t have to be co maid of honor.

Post # 6
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Mabel127:  No she has no right to be upset. My sister is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, my bff is my Maid/Matron of Honor, my sister knew that was how it would be before I even asked my girls. I’m close with my sister, but not as close as I am with my bff, I’ve been friends with this girl for about 13 years, and I will always be closer to her then I am to my sister. 

Post # 7
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I feel for her and can see why she is upset.

Post # 9
4512 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010



I agree. 

OP, she is just telling you that she is upset. She has a right to feel however she feels, just like you had the right to choose your bridal party as you like. She is your sister, after all. 

Post # 10
435 posts
Helper bee



Well she can’t help how she feels I guess but she shouldn’t have said anything to make you feel bad about it.  I’m a bridesmaid in my sister’s upcoming wedding and I’m fourth (last) in the line behind my other sister plus two of her friends.  I wasn’t upset, I thought it was nice that she asked me to be in it at all.  It is an honour and I really think your sister needs to get over it. 

Post # 11
259 posts
Helper bee

I think she is most likely more upset that you and her aren’t closer, but if she isn’t married, that might be a bit of anger at being still single while you are settling down.

Post # 12
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@TwoCityBride:  I really have to disagree with this. You should be nicer to your siblings because you can’t decide you don’t want to be silbings anymore, you are stuck with them for life. Friends may grow apart, but you can never replace your family so you might as well be extra nice.

With that said, I get it from both sides. When my sister and I were kids we said we would be each others Maid/Matron of Honor. Fast foward about 15 years, my sister and I grew into very different people, and while we are on good terms we are just different and have found friends who resemble ourselves more. My sister got married first, and she made me co-MOH so she wouldn’t hurt my feelings. I was annoyed (especially because the other girl planned the shower when I couldn’t attend, and then when I planned a spa day for family and close friends she backed out the morning of, but whatever…) but I did my best to not make a big deal out of it because it is what my sister wanted. When it was my turn to get married, I decided not to have a Maid/Matron of Honor. Let’s face it, a lot of the times BM’s feel like their friendships are ranked in comparison to each other, and doesn’t feel good. I adore all my BMs and didn’t want to deal with having a Maid/Matron of Honor because it would have been awkward for me. You can probably pull off something similar, just saying that you adore both of them and didn’t want to choose between them. 

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