Post # 1
I don’t even know where to begin. My sister got engaged over a year ago. She has not planned one bit of her wedding. I got engaged 2 months ago. (YAAAAY!) My sister was very happy for me. Two weeks after I got engaged, my sister decided to set her date for this August. That’s totally fine, but why rush? Everyone thinks she is trying to get married before me. I am not sure why but I totally agree.
I got a dress after a month of being engaged and posted a picture on FB of where I got my dress. My sister posted on it saying how I need to help her find her wedding dress now. Anytime I post anything about my wedding planning, she comments on it talking about HER. It never deals with anything about my post. It is like she is trying to steal my thunder. I mean, when someone get engaged, it’s like a specail time in their lives. When my sister got engaged, she got that attention. Now that I am engaged, she is trying to steal that attention away from me I feel.
I am my sisters Maid/Matron of Honor. Now I have to plan the bridal shower and bachelorette party. I have to get my dress, in less than a month now. I feel she doesn’t really get that people aren’t sitting on money. I feel overwhelmed and I honestly am really upset about the fact that she is planning her wedding in now 4 weeks. I have all this pressure and I don’t have the time or money to do everything that she wants. My sister does have the venue, ceremony, catering, and DJ booked. I am surprised she was able to do that. The thing is, she is getting married and I want her to have everything that she wants. I really do love her. I am just beyond annoyed with her and I feel she isn’t putting anyone into consideration on how this is going to affect others. She doesn’t even have her invites out. I have got some of my own wedding stuff booked and she doesn’t even pay attention to me and my own wedding planning. It has to be all about her her her. I told her one day, I honestly can’t afford all the stuff you are wanting me to get. I have bills to pay, and she told me she wants me to stop paying my bills so I can focus on her wedding!! I can’t stop my life for her wedding
I guess my question is… Am I overreacting? I honestly no longer want to be in her wedding now. That is how upset I am. Thank you for listening to me rant on and on. I have been so stress about this.
Post # 2
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Her behavior and some of her requests go too far.
I think ignoring most of her behavior is best, because her wedding isn’t too far away; it’ll be over soon. For the money and time issues, you might have to basically say, “Sis, this is as much as I can afford, and this is as much as I can do. I will do what I can to help you, but I won’t put my whole life on the back burner simply because you’re getting married”.
If she doesn’t get that, you could ignore her nonsense and do the things she wants done how she wants them done, but within reason, or you could step down. Heck, you could even do both; try to ignore her as best you can, and if that doesn’t work, step down.
Post # 3
That she is asking you to stop paying bills and pay for stuff for her wedding is ridiculous. Tell her no. Be firm. But that you have this notion that she is ‘thunder-stealing’ and doing this just to get married before you is equally ridiculous. Of course her wedding is all about her–just like yours is all about you. She’s four weeks out. That’s all she’s going to be thinking about. Don’t spend money you don’t have on her. But also don’t try and make this a ‘me, me, look at meeeee!’ competition between the two of you. Why can’t you just be happy for one another and support one another rather than thinking she’s being selfish or vice-versa? That’s what sisters do. To not want to be in her wedding would be a foolish thing to do. This is your sister. Stand firm on not spending any more money, but also be there to support your sister just like you’d want her to do the same.
Post # 4
your sister is crazy if she thinks she can boss you around and stop paying for things you need/bills so you can plan and pay for her pre wedding parties. i would just do what i can afford and tell her this is how it will be . if you dont like it i wont waste money on it and you wont get the parties you want…
Post # 5
This isn’t a me me meee thing btw. Two weeks after I got engaged, she decided to finally get married. Leaving her with 8 weeks until her wedding. I am not upset because I am not getting attention. I was upset because I haven’t even been engaged for a whole 2 weeks and she decided to plan her wedding. I realize weddings are all about the 2 people. The way she is doing it makes me feel like she is trying to make up for her lack of not planning for the year in a few months she has been engaged and her pride would be hurt if she didnt marry before me becuase she is 6 years older than me. I just wanted to have that feeling that everyone gets when they first get engaged, she did. I honestly felt like she was trying to take it away from. I don’t know why, that is how I feel.
Post # 6
amelliafay: I don’t blame you for feeling the way you do.
Luckily, her wedding will be here and then gone pretty quickly. Hopefully things will get back to normal after that.
Post # 7
Definitely stand up for yourself and let her know that you wont be putting your financial security in jeopardy over her wedding. While yes you love her, and would love to be a part of it, you are not in a financial position to pay for all these things. If your participation is that important to her maybe she will chip in, but if not, then respectfully decline to be in her wedding party and let her know you are more than happy to come as a guest and support her through this process but definitely dont allow her to take advantage of you. Your credit score will be happy you did! lol
Post # 8
amelliafay: Your sister said to stop paying your bills so you can focus on her wedding? Seriously?? That is one of the worst bridezilla moves I have ever heard!!
I think you need to say “no”, over and over. I suggest you drop out of being Maid/Matron of Honor – because you can’t afford it – unless she gets more realistic expectations. These realistic expectations would be: (1) cheap dress or she buys the dress; (2) a simple bachelorette with minimal organisation (one night out); (3) you’re not organising a bridal shower. You don’t have the time or the money. If she wants one, someone else can do it.
I’m sure this will cause drama. But remember, you are not cause of the drama. She is, by putting out these unrealistic demands.
I’ll say it again: I’ve heard of some bridezillas in my time on this site, but asking someone to stop paying her bills pretty well takes the cake.
Post # 9
You need to put yourself in her shoes- she is six years older and of course she’s embarassed for being married first. But August is only a month away- just suck it up and bulldoze through it 🙂 because after that it is all about *YOU* and your wedding and you can boss her around all you want in revenge.
First thing you need to do is push her to send those invites! sooner that happens, the sooner this nightmare is over, haha.
If you can’t afford something just tell her no. Don’t fight with her, you don’t have to defend yourself,