sister over too much ?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 3
43300 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

DiamondnLovey:  Have you spoken with her? She’s probably not a mind reader. It really doesn’t matter if it is or is not too much for any of us.What matters is if it is too much for you.

Post # 4
465 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Gently let her know that you have plans, want to get to bed early, etc anytime she is hanging out longer than you’d like. If she doesn’t get the hint, you will have to be more blunt and tell her more directly that you’d like some days without company. If you are nice about it and don’t embarrass her, I’m sure she’ll understand. 

Post # 5
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Is there a way she can get home without either you or your husband giving her a lift? Is there a reason your parents won’t pick her up? 


Post # 6
3132 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Setting up boundaries gently would be a good idea. Is it possible your sister is lonely? Have you asked her what her social life is like? Does she have friends outside of the home? Is she seeking affection and love from her neice and her sister that she is not getting elsewhere? It sounds like her behaviour is clingy and possibly coming from a place of loneliness and attention seeking. You should have a heart to heart with her and see where she is at emotionally. Generally this sort of thing comes from a deeper place. And you should handle it tactfully and lovingly.

Post # 8
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

My sisters and I have discussed this type of situation already. We have family members who stay over our house too long and we can’t imagine that it’s comfortable for the husband & wife, and definitely gets in the way of having more intimate moments. So I think it’s really important that you talk to her about it! Just ask that she limits her time there/asks in advance. Good luck!

Post # 9
2366 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


DiamondnLovey:  sounds like my PIL with DH and SIL they never drove them places either. If your sister didn’t work at the same place as your husband/worked in a completely different place then how would she get home? Is there a public transportation system or would she need to get a taxi?

I know everyone is picking up on the loneliness thing but, for some reason, I’m picking up on the lift side of it. Maybe I could be wrong and there is an actual agreement between your sister and you/husband that he will give her a lift home but I read it as she hangs out at yours waiting for one of you to say “would you like a lift home”. 

I do think helping family is important. I often gave my sister a lift home because she couldn’t drive…but this was maybe once or twice a week, not every day…it’s a bit excessive. 

Post # 11
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you want more time alone then let her know. Not sure how to break it to her in a nice way. If she needs a ride maybe your husband could take her home right when she gets off so she isn’t hanging around your house waiting.

Post # 12
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Find her a new guy..then you’ll probably never see her!

Post # 13
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

More then likely, you are going to have to get vocal with her. Communication, as always, is key. Let her know that you need time with your man.. alone! She isn’t a mind reader, so probably has no clue how you feel. Let her know on days X,Y,Z you want to be alone, but she can come over on these days. If she doens’t like it, well she will have to find her own way, but it’s better to be honest then let it bottle up inside.

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