- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I was wondering what you think about this situation and what I should say (calmly) to my sister in response. Here’s my story.
A while back about 6 months before my wedding (My wedding June 29,2012) my best friend backed out as my maid of honor because she couldn’t afford her dress and got engaged herself. Before she had backed out my sister made it very clear to me that she was offended with my choice. She said the maid of honor is reserved for the sister. We aren’t very close though. After my friend backed out I asked my sister if she would be maid of honor instead. Everything was fine up until Monday morning when I texted her to see about her dress for the wedding.
I texted her not only to ask about her dress but also to tell her to call my cousin-in-law as they were both planning my bacheleorette party and my cousin had been trying to get a hold of her and wasn’t getting a response. Because it’s getting so close to the wedding my cousin had to call me and ask me what I wanted as far as dates, theme, etc because my sister wasn’t returning her calls and she needed to plan a.s.a.p. Before I could tell my sister to call my cousin she got all pissed off and told me that I’m swapping family roles for friends, next thing she’s know’s I’ll make my cousin maid of honor instead, thanks for cutting me out of the bachelorette party. Have fun. So I took that to mean that she wanted out of everything including the wedding. So I told her if she didn’t want to go to let me know so I can use that meal for someone else and I also told her I didn’t cut her out of anything, we just could get a hold of her and needed to have a plan. She then told me she never said she wasn’t going.
I’m so lost here. I guess she was offended from day one when I made her my replacement Maid/Matron of Honor but if she felt that way she should of just told me then. I’m thinking of just not having an Maid/Matron of Honor eventhough there is another person I know who would be willing to do it. I had already done away with the bridesmaids due to complaining about dresses and colors and my sister was one of the original bridesmaids. The bad part about all this is I’m 3 weeks away from my wedding and I don’t live in the location where my wedding is at so I’m going this Saturday to stay with family and she will be there. I don’t know what to say to her and we are not currently on speaking terms because of this. Any suggestions?
What I have planned to say is “I didn’t know you felt this way about taking over the Maid/Matron of Honor postition after someone backed out and now that I know this, I don’t feel right about you participating in something you don’t want to do.” If you don’t really feel this way then I’m going to ask you not to complain.” How does this sound?