Sister problems.

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry that you are having problems with your sister.

It sounds like she has a history of being self centred and demanding, and that you tend to give in to her. I think that you have done a lot and she seems to be only hearing her side of the story.

Is this perhaps all compounded by grief? I don’t know.

I would probably tell her that this is not a good time to have this conversation, in the wake of a death in the family and maybe you guys can talk about it later.

When ‘later’ arrives she may have to learn that when you don’t treat people very well, and accuse them of not doing enough for you when they bend over backwards, then it is no surprise that they may seem distant.

ETA: Sorry, I just re-read that the funeral was months ago and she called you tonight. In which case I thought you were an exemplary family member and I think your sister needs to get a reality check. If that means you doing less for her, as you suggested in your first paragragh, then so be it! I had some “sister issues” myself and I confronted my sister – it was about boundaries and RESPECT, too. We had a fight that involved a lot of crying (on her side) and we have grown more distant but interestingly that has made things better. I would rather be respected by my sister than play happy families and allow her to treat me like rubbish.

 

Post # 4
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

I wonder if your sister isn’t also feeling the distance and just found something to blame it on. like maybe she notices the distance, is upset about it and just not self aware enough to figure out what is really causing it so she just jumped to you not picking her up as the problem. I would think a really good talk with her would be in order.

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