(Closed) sister problems

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
44 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011

OH…I am so sorry you are having these issues with her.  I know it is terrible especially when your family isn’t happy for what is the happiest time of your life!  If i were in  your shoes i wouldnt ask her to be a bridesmaid and that is my personal opinion.  You want your bridesmaids to be encouraging and supportive or else you are going to deal with negative vibes throughout your entire planning process and day.  and i dont think that is fair on any bride!


Post # 4
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Sorry to hear about your situation.  I would NOT ask her.  The wedding process and planning are stressful enough without having someone else who is adding to the stress.  You need a bridesmaid that will help deal with problems, not create them.  Normally I would suggest having her do something like reading or be the MC, but you don’t need her to spread her negative vides throughout your wedding.

Post # 5
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Wow! I could’ve written your post!!! I have similar situation in the attitude of your sister. Both of my sisters have had that unsupportive/negative attitude and wanting to control/pick out what dress and color, even the length. I delayed selecting my wedding colors because of them!


I asked them to be BMs and it led to a lot of drama!!! It’s really upset me. I am not even really speaking to one of my sisters right now(I am never home though). It’s sad. They both are older than me, unmarried, and they hardly know my fiance yet are so judgmental….


Hope you feel better and that everything works out. I might have one of my sisters in my wedding still, but it’s still quite up in the air due to her being so picky about choosing the dress!

Post # 6
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know this is silly but.. have you talked to her openly? It is hard to not be perceived as judgmental if you go to someone and tell them that they have a bad attitude or that they’re too negative, but ignoring the situation won’t change things either.  When I hear stories like yours and starry’s, I feel so horrible for you and it makes me grateful that my sister is so supportive. 

That said, if there is a tactful, reasonable way to discuss how she’s been acting, see if you can work it into the conversation.  It shouldn’t sound like the blame game though, “You always say this..” “you never do that” though lol I learned that from a horrible relationship I used to be in.  I do agree with the other ladies though, even if you can work out what issues you have and you don’t cause her to get even nastier, I advise against adding her to your wedding party since she’s already voiced so many strong opinions against what you’re doing.

And if you need help explaining why she wasn’t included, I’m sure all of us could contribute and help you find the perfect way to tell her.  Big hugs to you !

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