Post # 1
So My half sister is in her early 30’s and is a single mother, previously engaged but it didn’t work out. Growing up she lived with her mom while i lived with our dad but she would cometo visit, I always would stand up for her when other people would talk bad about her, i love her dearly and would like to have her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but when my dad whent to go visit her, she had this bad attitude, saying that she was going to pick out her dress if she was to be involved and what am i thinking getting married, she has such a bad attitude right now it makes me sad, she is also against me getting married and doesn’t think he is the right guy for me even though she hasn’t even met him yet. I want to have her be involved but im not sure if i can have her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man without there being problems with family and friends. she is against my religion and thinks its stupid im getting married in a church and all i hear from her is negative feedback, never once a congratulations. I really want her to be involved but i am not sure what to have her do so she will be out of the way during the ceremony…What should i do??
Post # 3
OH…I am so sorry you are having these issues with her. I know it is terrible especially when your family isn’t happy for what is the happiest time of your life! If i were in your shoes i wouldnt ask her to be a bridesmaid and that is my personal opinion. You want your bridesmaids to be encouraging and supportive or else you are going to deal with negative vibes throughout your entire planning process and day. and i dont think that is fair on any bride!
Post # 4
Sorry to hear about your situation. I would NOT ask her. The wedding process and planning are stressful enough without having someone else who is adding to the stress. You need a bridesmaid that will help deal with problems, not create them. Normally I would suggest having her do something like reading or be the MC, but you don’t need her to spread her negative vides throughout your wedding.
Post # 5
Wow! I could’ve written your post!!! I have similar situation in the attitude of your sister. Both of my sisters have had that unsupportive/negative attitude and wanting to control/pick out what dress and color, even the length. I delayed selecting my wedding colors because of them!
I asked them to be BMs and it led to a lot of drama!!! It’s really upset me. I am not even really speaking to one of my sisters right now(I am never home though). It’s sad. They both are older than me, unmarried, and they hardly know my fiance yet are so judgmental….
Hope you feel better and that everything works out. I might have one of my sisters in my wedding still, but it’s still quite up in the air due to her being so picky about choosing the dress!
Post # 6
I know this is silly but.. have you talked to her openly? It is hard to not be perceived as judgmental if you go to someone and tell them that they have a bad attitude or that they’re too negative, but ignoring the situation won’t change things either. When I hear stories like yours and starry’s, I feel so horrible for you and it makes me grateful that my sister is so supportive.
That said, if there is a tactful, reasonable way to discuss how she’s been acting, see if you can work it into the conversation. It shouldn’t sound like the blame game though, “You always say this..” “you never do that” though lol I learned that from a horrible relationship I used to be in. I do agree with the other ladies though, even if you can work out what issues you have and you don’t cause her to get even nastier, I advise against adding her to your wedding party since she’s already voiced so many strong opinions against what you’re doing.
And if you need help explaining why she wasn’t included, I’m sure all of us could contribute and help you find the perfect way to tell her. Big hugs to you !