Sister Rant!!! (literally the WORST)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well you did basically “fire” her.  I’d probably drop out as well. You can’t really require more from someone than showing up at the wedding, probably wearing a dress of your choice. A 45 minute train ride for bridal fittings isn’t something I’d really want to do either, and everyone knows making labels is the worst (probably why you didn’t want to do it yourself!)

Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

absolutely_tati:  I think you need a reality check.  No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are.  An MOH doesn’t need to do anything but show up wearing the dress on your wedding day, anything else is extra.  Regardless of how much of a heads up you gave her, 45 minutes just so she can watch you get fitted in your wedding gown IS an “ordeal.”

During your engagement have you discussed other things besides your wedding with her?  You know, to show that you know she’s not just MOH, she’s your sister and you care about how she’s doing.  Are you concerned for anything other than your wedding that she’s not answering any phone calls – do you know that she’s ok?  Maybe you should hop on a 45 minute train ride and apologize.

Yes, of course you still invite her, she’s your sister.

Post # 6
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

absolutely_tati:  Why did you have to strip her of being MOH? You could’ve gotten help from others without taking away that title from her. I guess I look at the MOH position a little differently. The title shouldn’t go to the person who will do the most wedding tasks for you, it should be a person who is close to you. Any bridesmaid (or person in general) can help with the wedding, it doesn’t have to be the MOH.

Post # 7
Member
461 posts
Helper bee

I am pretty surprised that so many expectations are put on a bridal party these days.  I thought Maid of Honor was a position in which the bride was honored to have her closest friend stand with her and witness her biggest day, and if she wants to help then terrific!  It sounds to me like brides now just expect a maid period.

Be grateful your sister spoke up about her feelings of your expectations because she clearly did not want to be in the roll you assigned to her.  Ask her in what capacity, if any, she wants to be involved and of course you still invite her!

Post # 9
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I dont think you are asking to much at all. My sister is my MOH, she went dress shopping with me, has helped me make mock up centerpieces, and will be doing much more in the comming months etc. I would be upset if i were in your shoes, and I think you have every right to feel the way that you do. 

AS for people saying that no on is as excited about your wedding as you are, yes that is true but as a MOH or bridsmaid I expect a little enthuasim. I know if i was a bridesmaid i would be a little sad if all i got to do was show up at the wedding in a dress, I would want to be involved, to help the bride with whatever she needed. 

For the record I have 7 bridesmaids and a MOH, all who want to help and are excited to do what they can. 

Post # 11
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

No one is being rude to you here, so you don’t need to take offense at the advice and opinions people are offering.

That said, a bridesmaid doesn’t work for you, and nothing is expected of them except to stand up for you on your wedding day. The rest is gravy, if you ask me. In the US, they are also expected to buy a dress (within reason) of your choosing. That’s it. She is perfectly within her rights to not want to spend an hour and a half on a train to watch you try on dresses. My MOH never came to my dress appointments with me, why would she? She has a life too, which doesn’t involve driving across town to see me look at ballgowns. Your sister is also able to say no to making labels (and if they took you seven minutes, why did you need to give this task to someone else? Seems like it would be more trouble to send the addresses and collect the labels then to just do it yourself). I understand that you are frustrated that your sister isn’t helping you as much as you would like, but it’s not an obligation. 

Post # 14
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Also, I think you mean *figuratively* the worst. If this is *literally* the worst person in your life, I’d say you have a pretty charmed life!

Post # 15
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

absolutely_tati:  You seem to be very heated over this. Beware that not everyone is going to agree with you here, no need to give attitude about it. You asked for opinions.

You got your little jab in and stripped your sister of the MOH title, and now you are even considering not inviting her to the wedding…does it shock you that someone who was removed from MOH because she wasn’t doing enough (according to your expectations) would be less than thrilled to attend more wedding planning stuff?

I’ll be honest because this is the way you’re coming off: It seems like having someone there to do those little tasks was more important than having your sister by your side on your special day. I’d ignore your calls too.

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