- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club
I hope this will be cohesive, but I am extremely sleepy and highly emotional so no promises.
I feel like it’s happening all over again…
I am 1 of 4 children and the only one who is still living at home.
My parents are 1st generation and visit there native country every year.
Last year in July, when they went on their vacation, my sister asked if she could stay with me. Since my mother specifically had mentioned her not staying at the house, I told my sister she would have to clear it with my mother. Well, my sister never contacted my mom, but i did, and my mom did say it was ok. I tried to call my sister, but she didn’t answer my calls. One night at 1:30ish am I hear loud bangs on my front door. I’m home alone so i’m a bit scared but I did noticed I had a missed call from my sister so i figured it was her… and it was. When I open the door she immediately says, “which room can my children sleep in tonight?” Not a, “Can I stay here?” or anything. So i suggested a room and she said, “well actually, can we say in the Frog?” I say “no” because that is my room now. She was upset about this, and so she suggested a third room. I said fine. So she puts her children in that room and settles in another room. I asked if she spoke to mom… she said “no.”
I told her that I had and that she could stay with me, but there were some rules she had to follow. I mentioned that she needed to keep the house clean because i had plans and she said, “I can’t do that… I have kids. We’ll find somewhere else to stay” (She could keep the house clean if she wanted, I get kids are messy but trust me, in this situation, she should have had no problem with that.)
ok. no problem. I go to bed.
The next day when I get home from work she is bringing in groceries. WTH? I question her as to why she was bringing in groceries when she had said she wasn’t going to stay, to which she angrily said, “The only other place i can stay is a homeless shelter, so i have to stay here”.
I’m not sure why she felt like she had the right to stay at my house, but i knew she had other options; she just didn’t want to take them. My response: “Well you can go stay in a homeless shelter.” I feel i need to be honest with to you bees in regards to my response to her, though i know i will probably get flamed for it. I know it was a horrible thing to say, and i wish I didn’t. I was already super stressed and upset about other things in my life and I snapped. I also knew she had other options. My statement was not meant to be, “leave my house” but rather, “You can stay here and obey the rules, or you can go stay somewhere else… which apparently is a homeless shelter.” Anyway, she was outraged by that response, which I understand, and said some mean things to me before walking out the door. Her husband came in to get their things and I explained to him what I meant. I made sure he knew that I wanted them to stay, but the rules were not negotiable. He said he would talk to her. They ended up staying the rest of the time with very little speaking to me (from my sister… her husband and kids talked with me) and she got mad when I asked her to leave a few days before my parents got back so I could clean the house.
Since she left, I messaged her with apologies multiple times via fb (the only way I could communicate with her, but she never responded. Then when i got engaged, I asked her (again via fb) to be in my wedding party. She responded with “You should ask _____, They would actually want to do that.”
I responded multiple times without replies and eventually she blocked me on fb.
Needless to say, I’ve been trying to stay happy during the planning process of my wedding, but it’s really difficult.
Fast forward a year later and the folks are over seas again. i didn’t want to stay by myself, so i asked a friend to stay with me, and my parents were good with it.
As soon as they leave my brother takes over the guest room. (where my friend was supposed to stay.) So i ask him what’s going on and he says his apartment is being worked on so he is staying the night Just one night… but maybe more depending on how long they work on the apartment. (again, no heads up to me or the folks, and he doesn’t ask, he demands) Whatever… I make it work. My friend is staying in a different room, and i told my brother to let me know what is going on. He agreed. Since then he has had friends over at all hours of the nigh and has spent the night every night. WITH NO WORD TO ME.
Today I had to get out of bed and go downstairs and say, “Hey guys (he had three friends over) it’s getting kind of late. I think it’s time to call it a night.” they apologize and I start to head back up, but hear my brother say, “Ok, you do that!” In an extremely snarky attitude. Grrr! I ignore it hoping his friends will still be polite seeing as it is 12:30 am and people are trying to sleep. So now it is 1:30 and they just left 10-15 mins ago.
Do i want to never talk to my brother again? No! Do I want him to be considerate? Absolutely.
What the heck is wrong with my siblings?