Sister skipping my bridal shower to stay home with her dog!?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mmattiso:  honestly, depending on how old the puppy is, I understand where she’s coming from. Having a puppy is not unlike having a baby. We just got a 3 month old puppy a few weeks ago and she can’t be left alone at home more than a couple hours yet. She’s not fully house trained or crate trained, and we knew that our schedules would change around her needs when we got her. if I were you, I would ask your aunt about the puppy coming to the shower. My FMIL threw my bridal shower three days after we got our puppy and there was no way I was leaving her home all afternoon so quickly. 

Post # 4
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Puppies do throw a household into chaos but unless your sister is home with the puppy every minute of the day, this sounds a little bit like an excuse. Perhaps if the puppy has a crate he/she could stay in the crate in the garage or in another room? That way it wouldn’t be running around or creating a mess…perhaps the other option would be to see if FI would be willing to take or babysit the puppy to free up your sister.

Post # 5
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mmattiso:  Does your sister work or study? She is in effect saying she can’t go anywhere or do anything for that whole week. I’m calling BS. I think she just doesn’t want to go.

That said, you can’t force her to come. If she wants to choose her puppy over you, that’s her decision.

EDIT: Thinking more, an hour each way for a bridal shower is a fair commitment, especially when you’re having 2 bridal showers. I think you’ve got to realise it’s her choice. I mean, if she lived interstate, you wouldn’t expect her to travel just for the bridal shower. I think ask her if she could please find a way to just attend one.

Post # 6
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@mmattiso:  That’s crazy.  I would be extremely hurt and upset.  Will your sister need to travel a long distance to get to your shower(s)?  As in 1+ hour drive? If not, then I don’t see why the puppy can’t stay in a crate or gated up somewhere in her home for a few hours. 

Post # 8
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@rxwebste:  I disagree with this. If OP’s sister is trying to do right by a new puppy, she wouldn’t leave her home only a few days into a new environment. It will cause anxiety and it’s also a bad idea to just throw the puppy into a crate before she’s been properly crate trained. It’s all a process that can take weeks, and you can’t just take a puppy who’s not used to it’s crate and put it in one for hours all of a sudden.  My puppy needs to go out every two hours or she pees all over the place. A new dog is a commitment and sometimes that trumps or affects other things. 

Post # 9
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

@TattedNYBrideWith you there

Just also wanted to add, when we got our Puk we had to get up every couple hours to take him outside durring house breaking so he didn’t have an accident in the house. Honestly I would try and see if she can take her puppy with her. As for her maybe missing because of the classes, really you should be giving her kudos for steping up and taking training classes. Yes it does stink that she may not be able to come, but in the end you can’t expect her to plan her life around your events. It stinks that she may have to miss out on a couple events but truthfullly you should try to acomodate her/be understanding about the whole situtation. 

Post # 10
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would be pissed off too. I think you should communicate your feelings to your sister. This is a once in a lifetime event and sisterhood is a strong bond — she should be there for you at your shower. 

Post # 12
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mmattiso:  a two hour commute plus a few hours at the shower, is too long for the puppy to be on it’s own. 

Post # 13
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mmattiso:  It’s just the shower. A simple party with cake and punch and presents. If she’ll be there for your wedding, what’s the big deal?

Post # 14
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Puppies can only be crated generally for the number of hours equal to the months they are old. That’s likely 2-3 hours max, and she can only use a crate AFTER she’s trained the puppy to stay calm, cool, and collected in the crate. I’m going through an obedience class right now with a doggie we recently adopted and I cut a vacation short to make sure I didn’t miss a single class.

I mean, I guess you can express your disappointment to her about her not being there, but I didn’t even have a bridal shower (much less two) so I’m not sure what experience you think you’re missing out on if she’s not there.

Post # 15
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mmattiso:  your sister is being ridiculous. Why can’t her SO watch their dog for a few hours? I would be extremely hurt if my sister pulled something like this.

Post # 16
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I can see how you could be disappointed. But maybe your sister is just giving you a heads up that she does have some concern/conflict so if something doesn’t work out it won’t be a big suprise. A puppy is a lot of work and its sounds like her BF is going to be really busy working (that time of a year is extremely busy, it might not be possible to have a new puppy there and be able ot keep a close enough eye on it) and to leave a new puppy alone for 4+ hours is not a great idea.

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