Post # 1
So, DH and I are going to spend 5 days in San Diego next month. We are going to SD for a couple reasons one being to relax, see some family and the big one so we can spend time with DH best friend. DH’s best friend has been having a tough time lately. He is a marine and severed overseas in combat.
I’m supper exciting we had not been on a long trip alone in forever. DH loves to work and just hang out at home. Plus since I’m 19 weeks pregnant this maybe our last trip “alone”. A little while ago I got a text from my sister asking if we wanted a third wheel. I responded that I really didn’t. I have my reasons which I can list. She said that she could just hang out at our cousin’s house. We are staying at a hotel. It kind of went back and forth with me saying things like what about you getting time off from work or we may not have room in the car (were renting a small sports car). She kind of had a response for everything. She finally said oh don’t worry about it and left it at that. I was a little pissed at her at first but I now feel bad. Not sure if I’m looking for advice or acknowledgement that I did the right thing or what or I just needed to vent.
A while back my mother, I and my sister had talked about taking a trip over this same time but then DH decided that we should take a trip. I told my mother and sister that since DH does not like to go on trips that I better take him up on the offer. The pervious trip and never really gone pass the talking about stage and we may just do an overnight now.
Post # 3
I would just call her and say something like “I’m really sorry and I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. Normally I would be all for you coming along with us, but we’re just really looking forward to a roadtrip with just the two of us before the baby comes.” Hopefully she’ll get the hint…
Post # 4
@kcaggiebiz: Uh, I think its a bit weird that your sis tried to finangle her way into your trip, to be honest. I don’t think you should feel bad for saying no, it was rude of her to even ask.
Post # 5
+1 to what Ryansgirl said. I’m an only child, so sometimes the sibling dynamic baffles me. But for me, I would NOT appreciate someone inviting himself/herself along on a vacation if it’s just me and SO! First, it’s rude to invite yourself somewhere out of the blue. Second, she should understand that you two want some time together before the baby comes. Try what Ryansgirl suggested saying, and if she doesn’t get the hint, then be more firm. Stick to your guns, and suggest that maybe the two of you can take a girls’ trip somewhere just the two of you.
Post # 6
@kcaggiebiz: Yeah if I were you I wouldn’t feel bad. Sounds like you have a lot of perfectly valid reasons…and even if you didn’t, your sister doesn’t need to come along as a third wheel.
Post # 7
I get your pseudo-guilt, family stuff is awkward sometimes when you have to say no. I agree with above–if she brings it up again just say you’d be be glad to take a trip with her some other time but you really just want time with your husband before the baby comes. I’m surprised she’d invite herself since you’re pregnant and obviously want time AWAY. If it’s super awkward, say something in the meantime about her being a great future aunt or something. People love that stuff!
Post # 8
@kcaggiebiz: I would plan a different time to hang out with your sister. Maybe a weekend trip together?
Post # 9
@BluebonnetBride: It sounds like the sister “invited herself” because they had originally discussed taking a trip together around this same time… so maybe she thought she was part of that plan?