(Closed) Sister Wedding Drama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since you are running out of time I would recommend the following.

  • pick ceremony music– Is it a church wedding? If so I can give you a list of songs or call the music coordinator and tell her the theme of the wedding and ask her to make the best choices.
  • create programs– Type something up and bring the CD to Staples and have them print on pretty paper.
  • finalize plans with caterer/parents- I don’t think you can get around doing this.
  • maps for oot guests– Skip
  • oot bags– Skip or just go to Costco/BJ’s and buy some snacks to throw in the bags.
  • make table cards– You can also have Staples make a seating poster
  • discuss music for reception with DJ– Give him important songs and other than that trust that you hired the right DJ
  • table assignments– Put on poster.
  • timeline for wedding day- Woudln’t worry about it, the wedding coordinator at the venue usually has everything all set.
  • details for her after wedding bfast– Is there a restaurant where everyone is staying the night of the wedding? My mother is just running a tab at the restaurant because sometimes
  • Post # 4
    Member
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2001

    I think the fact that you’ve written all the things that need to get done is the first step. So cudos on that! Now all you have to do is just follow each bullet down, OR..you can take care of the easy stuff first..The music and wedding bfast..then maybe the written stuff- invitations/maps/place cards/programs. And then table assignments, which is fun. You can totally finish this in time.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1763 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would just relaxe and let it go. Offer help to her and if she needs it she can take you up on the offer. The things on the list are nothuge things. OOT baggs are not required, nehter are assigned seats for that matter.

    Let her know that you are there for her if she needs you, but pushing her to get it done might make her more stressed and some people shut down when they are stressed.

    Post # 6
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I was in a wedding with a bride like this last month. You know what? It will all work out. The only thing that has to be done is music for the ceremony and the reception caterer. The DJ will have music. Programs, seating charts, and OOT bags aren’t necessary. The timeline will flow, regardless.

    Give your sister this list, and ask which she wants you to do/help with. Other than that, step away. Some people aren’t OCD bridal-blog kinda gals.

    Post # 7
    Member
    593 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Ouch! That list is stressing me out. Are there underlying reasons she has put off some of this stuff or is she a habitual procrastinator?

    The things I wouldn’t worry about as much are:

    Maps. We didn’t do these. It’s 2010. People know how to get their hands on directions.

    Programs. If it comes down to it and she doesn’t have enough time, these could be scrapped. Every wedding I’ve attended the programs get left behind on the seat after the ceremony or thrown out. A lot of work with not a lot of payoff.

    Timeline. That should hopefully be out of her hands–most venues have some sort of on-site coordinator.

    Everything else is pretty damn important, imo!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think that some of those things could be omitted due to time constraints. Maybe you can just go ahead and do some things and she can change them if she doesn’t like them (ceremony music, timeline, etc)

    Timeline – she definitly has to do, but just use the ceremony time and work backwards.

    Ceremony music – it’s pretty basic if you want it to be so I’m sure whoever is doing the music could do it without much notice.

    Caterer – should just be giving them headcount which they should have by now.

    Tables/Assignments – depending on the type of dinner she is having she may not need to do table assignments or numbers.

    OOT bags, maps, programs – these don’t absolutely have to be done.

    Music for reception – so long as she’s not picky she should be okay

     

    The wedding breakfast seems like something that someone else other than the bride should organize.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    Can you give her some suggestions to get her started on.

    Like a list of possible music, a brief sketch of table arrangements, stuff like that.  She might hate it but at least it will get a fire under her  butt and she’ll say no I hate it, I want this.

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