Post # 1
I need advice Bees. My older sister is getting married next Sat. As of yesterday she still had not completed the following wedding tasks:
- pick ceremony music
- create programs
- finalize plans with caterer/parents
- maps for oot guests
- oot bags
- make table cards
- discuss music for reception with DJ
- table assignments
- timeline for wedding day
- details for her after wedding bfast
Needless to say my mom and dad are going nuts because they don’t want her poor planning to mess up her wedding day celebration. My sisters and I are helping with as much as we can but some decisions need to be made before we can do some things.
Does anyone have advice for me and my family?
Post # 3
Since you are running out of time I would recommend the following.
pick ceremony music– Is it a church wedding? If so I can give you a list of songs or call the music coordinator and tell her the theme of the wedding and ask her to make the best choices.
create programs– Type something up and bring the CD to Staples and have them print on pretty paper.
finalize plans with caterer/parents- I don’t think you can get around doing this.
maps for oot guests– Skip
oot bags– Skip or just go to Costco/BJ’s and buy some snacks to throw in the bags.
make table cards– You can also have Staples make a seating poster
discuss music for reception with DJ– Give him important songs and other than that trust that you hired the right DJ
table assignments– Put on poster.
timeline for wedding day- Woudln’t worry about it, the wedding coordinator at the venue usually has everything all set.
details for her after wedding bfast– Is there a restaurant where everyone is staying the night of the wedding? My mother is just running a tab at the restaurant because sometimes
Post # 4
I think the fact that you’ve written all the things that need to get done is the first step. So cudos on that! Now all you have to do is just follow each bullet down, OR..you can take care of the easy stuff first..The music and wedding bfast..then maybe the written stuff- invitations/maps/place cards/programs. And then table assignments, which is fun. You can totally finish this in time.
Post # 5
I would just relaxe and let it go. Offer help to her and if she needs it she can take you up on the offer. The things on the list are nothuge things. OOT baggs are not required, nehter are assigned seats for that matter.
Let her know that you are there for her if she needs you, but pushing her to get it done might make her more stressed and some people shut down when they are stressed.
Post # 6
I was in a wedding with a bride like this last month. You know what? It will all work out. The only thing that has to be done is music for the ceremony and the reception caterer. The DJ will have music. Programs, seating charts, and OOT bags aren’t necessary. The timeline will flow, regardless.
Give your sister this list, and ask which she wants you to do/help with. Other than that, step away. Some people aren’t OCD bridal-blog kinda gals.
Post # 7
Ouch! That list is stressing me out. Are there underlying reasons she has put off some of this stuff or is she a habitual procrastinator?
The things I wouldn’t worry about as much are:
Maps. We didn’t do these. It’s 2010. People know how to get their hands on directions.
Programs. If it comes down to it and she doesn’t have enough time, these could be scrapped. Every wedding I’ve attended the programs get left behind on the seat after the ceremony or thrown out. A lot of work with not a lot of payoff.
Timeline. That should hopefully be out of her hands–most venues have some sort of on-site coordinator.
Everything else is pretty damn important, imo!
Post # 8
I think that some of those things could be omitted due to time constraints. Maybe you can just go ahead and do some things and she can change them if she doesn’t like them (ceremony music, timeline, etc)
Timeline – she definitly has to do, but just use the ceremony time and work backwards.
Ceremony music – it’s pretty basic if you want it to be so I’m sure whoever is doing the music could do it without much notice.
Caterer – should just be giving them headcount which they should have by now.
Tables/Assignments – depending on the type of dinner she is having she may not need to do table assignments or numbers.
OOT bags, maps, programs – these don’t absolutely have to be done.
Music for reception – so long as she’s not picky she should be okay
The wedding breakfast seems like something that someone else other than the bride should organize.
Post # 9
Thanks to the bees that responded. I will let my parents know that some things are nice to have but since there is no time left, don’t have to happen. Maybe that will help with their stress level.
There is a bunch of crap-ola that is going down lately and everyone is now on edge bc my sister is throwing fits—def frustrating!
Post # 10
Can you give her some suggestions to get her started on.
Like a list of possible music, a brief sketch of table arrangements, stuff like that. She might hate it but at least it will get a fire under her butt and she’ll say no I hate it, I want this.