- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
So, on this board so far I have discussed how the interaction between my family and So’s family has been wonderful. But unfortunately my family comes from a very complicated background filled with domestic violence, and regrets and most of that involves my sister. Our family is very different than it used to be, my father a much more gentle man, but my sister, after many years of disdain and family turmoil has turned into a very volitile person.
She has been like this, a violent, angry, person for about 2 years. She goes to school, but is in thousands of dollars of debt and is expecting my father to pay for it. Shes in her late 30’s. My dad is retired, but he’s just getting by and she has been harassing the family for those whole years, demanding money which she believes she is entitled to. The debt is crushing not only her, but my father as well.
So the dilemma is this, I have asked th FI, and after all her violence, and harassment, just for the sake of wanting my family to be intact and safe, we are thinking of not inviting her to our wedding (we’ve decided that starting the new year we are going to start talking real wedding plans). I have no idea how to deal with this situation, and I have supposed this idea; that we talk to her, have a sort of intervention, to have her get some councelling as a requirement for her to be part of our new beginning and be part of the family again.
At this point, she no longer speaks to anyone but my father through a relative, she is practically disowned, has denied any requests to get her help, financially or otherwise. Its so bad that shes asking my dad thousands of dollars per month just to get by! I really dont understand where the money is going, neither does my dad, which is why he has decided not to give her anymore.
Bees, I hope you dont think me callous, but Im genuinely scared around my own sister, find her detached from normal social interaction (shes exhibited some paranoid tendencies, and often engages in arguments and fights (physical and verbal) over small disagreements). I really want the wedding to be police free and safe for my parents and everyone. Is it wrong to not invite her for this reason? We can have some civil talks (if Im quiet and dont say much, kind of like that), but besides that I feel really unsafe around her.
And amongst all of this, I really wish I was exaggerating. Help?