Post # 1
When I first got engaged, I figured the women in my life would be the happiest for me. But, I was wrong.
My sister started it. She just wasn’t… happy. Although she is older than me and already married with 2 kids, she just seemed put off by my engagement and my excitement for wedding planning, making snarky comments about “little Meg [I’m 30] finding her man at last”. She even made it clear fairly early on in our engagement that she wouldn’t be able to take time off of work to come to our wedding.
My FSIL also drove me nuts. She laughed at loud for at least 30 seconds when we announced our engagement, and then never congratulated us. She never asked to see my ring, and never asked us about wedding plans. Three months after we got engaged, she announced her own engagement – then announcemed via Facebook her wedding date: 4 weeks before her brother’s and my date. No coordination, nothing. She then called to let me know what flowers she would have (mine), what colors she would have (mine), that she bought a dress (not my dress exactly, but it was too close for comfort for my taste) and that she wanted to serve cupcakes instead of cake (also my idea). I changed every last detail of my wedding, and have stopped trying to coordinate with her.
This morning I learned that my brother’s wife is pregnant, and due 2 days after my wedding day. Guess my brother, his wife, and their 2 children also won’t be attending my wedding (our wedding is 4 hours away from their home). I know, I know – most people would say, ‘How wonderful!’ And, ‘What a great coincidence!’ but trust me, this is no coincidence: this was planned to undermine the attention being focused on me. My relationship with this woman has always been controversial. Long story.
I know weddings bring out a lot of emotions in people, but I’m still blown away at how angry, jealous, and spiteful a lot of people in our families have been since we got engaged. It makes me feel like I’m not a good person.
Post # 3
No- you have reason to be upset. My older sister got married on my birthday… and we haven’t celebrated my birthday together since. Why… because you know, that’s when her anniversary falls. “It’s my anniversary, you know.” That seems small in comparison to what is going on with you; I’m glad you were flexible and pulled a changeup on the FSIL from hell. That is the lowest thing in the world to upstage a planned wedding with an event of your own that saps people’s resources and travel time. My advice, is to detach yourself from any negativity and to ignore the jealousy- that’s what it is- and make your event as elegant and dignified as possible. There is no revenge quite like living well:-)
Post # 4
Oh no, BIG HUG!!
It’s insane how people behave when weddings are brought up, trust me, I can relate!
One thing I have learned: DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. There are a few girls I can talk wedding shop to but the rest I have to be careful because copying, criticizing, and general unwanted comments.
Second thing I have learned: Don’t care about them. That is SO hard for me since I am a people pleaser but at some point you get the “screw’em” mentality and you are just done with it all.
I’m 38 days out and I am finally hitting the point of being happy for the Mister and I and not caring if anyone elses comes. This day is for us anyhow.
Post # 5
I went through a VERY simlar thing with my soon to be SIL… it’s FI’s brother’s fiance, and she copied EVERYTHING and put their wedding before ours, at the same reception hall… I was devestated. Now that we are a year out from the drama, I can see that it’s not worth getting into with people… eveyone will have their opinions, and your best bet is to try and focus on what’s going on, and what fun you will have, even with people being crazy around you!! Hope it turns a little easier for you as well!!
Post # 6
His sister ended up screaming at me “NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR F*****G WEDDING” last weekend when he demanded that we kiss and make up. She screamed some other things, but trust me, that was by far the most pleasant.
We’re cancelling our wedding and doing something else, more than likely. I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown – it’s not just the sisters. Our parents, friends, and other family are just being absolute terrors. I can’t believe how many selfish people I am surrounded by.
On top of that, I learned yesterday I’m losing my job due to budget cuts. So, I’m just not able to deal with any of this crap anymore. I hate to say it, but I need health insurance so it’s time to get married already.
Post # 7
I am so sorry thats happening to you! You’re wedding should be just about the 2 of you…screw everyone else! Maybe it would be nice if you and your Fi had an intimate event, maybe just ya’ll at a Bed & Breakfast or go away just you 2 and have a DW! I hope it works out, but don’t feel like your alone, we all have fam drama-me too! My sister & niece aren’t coming to our wedding, but I’ve dealt with it and we’re okay now! Don’t let them get to you…take care of you first!
Post # 8
Oh no i am so sorry! it feels like that are trying to steal your thunder!
Post # 9
I’m so sorry that you are dealing with all of this drama. I completely undersatand, as I am in a similar situation with my sister. I also stopped working in January due to a medical condition, so I am not bringing any income to the table right now. We have decided to cut our guest list in half and only invite a few family and close friends who are supportive and active in our lives, but we are still having our wedding. It is our main focus, and we are not letting anyone stop us from doing what we initially wanted. I hope that you and yo FI get married soon and find peace without all the drama from others.
Post # 10
Wow. What a bit#h! I say, screw them, go on a fabulous vacation, get married, stay on the vacation longer, come back, and bask in wedded bliss. And I agree with other posts – don’t bring it up, if others ask about the wedding just give a breif response and move on, and remember what’s important. Hugs to you!
Post # 11
Poor you! So horrible. To hell with them. Really. Just let it go: don’t engage, don’t get into it, your blood pressure will take off! God people can be so rotten. You’re marrying your man. That’s all that’s important about it, really. Take care of yourself.
Post # 12
Hey just go off on your own together and get married then.