Weddingbee boards

This post is sort of a therapuetic vent for me... and it's really long. I have a half sister who is 15 years older than me. We were never really close until we started living in the same town two years ago. Anyway, about this time last year my (now) husband and I were renting my brother-in-laws old house since he had moved into her place. This "house" was really a condemned trailer, seriously, there were places where the ceilings were caving in, my husband fell through the floor at one point and there were mushrooms growing out of the ceilings in three different rooms. When we agreed to move in, it was to help them out financially and my BIL, who is a carpenter by trade, had agreed to fix it up. Well needless to say, when the time came to move in to the place, nothing had been done and we had no where else to go. So we moved in with the intention of saving some cash and the hope that he really would do some work on it. He never did.

Flash forward a few months and I found out I was pregnant. A month later we found a perfect new rental to move into. I immediatley went to my sister (who is a lawyer btw) and explained the situation. She said she totally understood, She told me she would take care of everything with her husband and gave me her blessing to get the hell out of there.

Then all of the sudden she did this total 180 and started seriously harrassing me- calling me all the time and telling me that we were screwing them over, that they were relying on the (tiny) amount of money we were giving them each month. She told me I was selfish and that I needed to figure out away "to make it less crappy for them." It went on and on and I was just sick over the situation. I apologized and tried to reason with them, but they totally turned their backs on me. Well moving day came around and I was at that point 11 weeks along. That day I had a miscarriage. I have this feeling in my heart that the reason I miscarried is a combination of the extreme mold I was living in and the stress I was dealing with because of her and her husband. It was physically and emotionally toxic situation.

Well, things died down after we moved and I did end up seeing my sister a few months ago. We talked about the wedding plans and pretended nothing had ever happened. I got a "yes' rsvp from them and assumed they were coming (remember we live in the same town). Twenty minutes before the ceremony I heard my phone ringing and noticed a message from her. Her message stated that they "felt too crappy" to come and to have a nice time. I was devastated. This was her chance to redeem herself and she couldn't even come up with a good excuse as to why she wasn't coming.

I recieved a $25 gift certificate to Target as a wedding present from her... now I'm faced with writing a "thank you" note. I'm not sure what to write. Do I finally give her a piece of my mind or do I continue to take the high road? I know this is so long and I thank any of you who have read this... What would you do if your sister acted like this?

wow...so sorry to hear this. i would take the high road and send a thank you card for the gift. just a short and pleasant note will do. then, after some time has passed, i would have a heart to heart with her. as hard as it may seem, try to keep your feelings in control and don't criticise. just let her know that you were hurt and what actions hurt you. then come up with a solution to remedy the situation. maybe write it out and practice what you are going to say beforehand. perhaps you can even practice with your husband and he can come up with possible answers your sister might provide, while you try to answer them in a calm manner.

just remember, there are things you can control and those you cannot. you cannot control your sister's behavior, but you can choose to live a life filled with people who add value to your life and have your best interest at heart. you cannot control the cause(s) of the miscarriage (and i am truly and deeply sorry for your loss), but you can control your decision to make your peace with it and move forward.

life's short.....be happy. don't let others get you down. congratulations on your wedding and look forward to sunny days ahead!

Awww, thanks ladies. I'm learning to let it all go. Sometimes I just feel these emotions welling up inside and writing about them helps alot. I usually write in my journal, but for some reason tonight I felt like writing to the hive. I don't plan on having any furthur contact with her at this point... I don't think I've ever been treated so poorly. Alas, life goes on and I still have so much to be grateful for.

$25 target card? How cheeeeap for a lawyer too! Wow, so sorry about your loss, you are better off without