Sisters reaction to bridesmaid dress off etsy… WOW, just wow.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

If your bridesmaids agreed on the price (or did you pay?) then they don’t get too much of a say in the dresses, as long as they are reasonable (not too short, cleavage baring, etc). I say let it go and let her complain, stand up for yourself and tell her that theses are the dresses you’ve chosen, and she can choose to wear it and stand up for you on your wedding day, or not wear it and attend the wedding as a guest.

Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I don’t know I think it looks ok haha…it’s probably one of the more flattering styles for her body shape.  I see the corset issue, but I’m sure you can find a local seamstress or alterations shop that could create an illusion corset back with a zipper underneath to make it lay better and still match the others.

The color is fine.  The style is fine.  She needs to pull her big girl panties up and get over it.

Post # 7
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t see any photo… however, it sounds like she just might be feeling insecure. It’s a bummer that she took it out on you, but maybe she’s been having some body woes lately. I would wait a few days and bring it up again. 

Post # 8
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Barbiestylez:  I am sorry you are having to deal with this.Although we love our sisters, we don’t have to like them, or their behavior. I have one sister who is a used and a taker. I have had to learn to not let her take constant advantage.

You cannot change your sister or her behavior, but you can decide that her reaction just isn’t all that important to you. Stop letting her push your buttons.

Did you keep a copy of the measurements you sent the Etsy seller? That’s the first thing I would check. Did she make the dress to fit those measurements? Clothing always needs some extra room added to the base measurement for comfort, so the dress should measure up to 2 ” larger than the measurements you sent her. If the dress doesn’t have this extra allowance, she should alter the dress for free or provide a new one.

Post # 9
Member
10986 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Barbiestylez:  This really is about your sister feeling insecure, overweight, and miserable.  As someone who is plus-sized, I know I find it very challenging to find a dress that I look really good in, so I can imagine her frustration at having to be on display in a garment in which she feels unattractive.

I would try not to take this too personally and to have compassion on your sister, while, at the same time, not allowing her negatively to affect your happiness or plans for your big day.

To the extent that you can, I would give your sister some concrete, constructive options, based upon your research with the seller.  After you learn what is and is not possible, you could sit down with your sister and say:

“I’m so sorry you’re unhappy about the dress. I’ve spoken with the seller, and we do have some options.  Please let me know which of these you would prefer …” and then let her know what they are. 

I hope everything turns out well for you both.

Post # 10
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I thnk the way it’s cut is making her appear a little wider in the hips. Is there an option with a higher waistline that she might like more? 

Post # 12
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Barbiestylez:  I think you’ve done more than your part by offering to buy her another dress. If she doesn’t want to accept your help then that’s her problem.

Post # 13
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

I think buying things like this online is tricky without trying them on beforehand (not excusing her actions). I think the dress is pretty. If this is how her attitude has been the whole time, have you thought about replacing her as MOH? It’s not fair for her to bring you down during what is supposed to be a happy time and if she indeed gets pregnant, it seems that may only add more tension. 

Post # 14
Member
8518 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Barbiestylez:  I think she has a right to be upset with it. Its not fitting right on her at all. I cant tell if its because its not laced right or because it just doesnt fit her well. It doesnt look right in the chest. The straps look like they’re leaning more to one side when they should be in the middle. It also looks like the ruching might be more centered to one side, which is also pretty unflattering.

Idk, it might just be bad pictures, but I dont think it looks well made. It just looks really uneven.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Barbiestylez:  That’s really nice of you to offer to buy her another dress. Maybe give her a few days to get out of the funk she’s in and email her the etsy seller’s site and have her pick a dress she likes. Then it is her choice and not a dress she is ‘forced’ to wear. If she is TTC, an empire style dress with a corset back so that it’s adjustable might work. 

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