Post # 1
Hi fellow waiting bees,
I’ve been lurking for a few weeks now and finally decided to join and post. My situation is a little interesting and just wanted to see what you lovely ladies thought of it. Long story short, boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years and we’ve discussed marriage, casually looked at rings, but nothing crazy. We “unofficially” live together meaning he stays with me 99% of the time. My parents just helped me purchase a home, however I’m opposed to moving in together until we are at least engaged, due to a bad experience I had with my ex. We decided we would wait until we are engaged to move into our new home together.
So, now I guess I’m officially waiting. He claims he would propose now if he had the money for a ring. I know he is paying off some debt, which should be his first priority financially. We also decided it would be best for him to save up for a ring instead of financing one, I would hate to put him in further debt just for my ring. It’s a little bit of an awkward situation now though, I don’t want him to feel pressured into asking just bc of this house. I guess the thing that bothers me most is when people ask when we’re moving in he always tells them “not for a long time.” It makes my heart sink everytime. I just wonder how long I’ll have to wait.
Post # 3
Have you looked at cheaper alternatives? Asha, Moissanite, gemstone, second hand rings, paying towards some of it yourself?
Post # 4
firstly, very envious you own your own place now 🙂 that’s great. and i think it’s a very smart thing you’re doing, waiting until you’re engaged to live with your SO, especially considering your past experiences.
as the other comment says, if the ring is the only issue, have you looked into other alternatives besides a large budget ring? is that something you would feel comfortable discussing with your SO? obviously i don’t know how he would feel about this, maybe his mind is set on getting you something more expensive and doesn’t want to explore other options, which i think would be fair from his standpoint if that’s what he has always wanted to do.
in my opinion, it’s probably the best thing just to talk about it with him, how you don’t want to pressure him which i’m sure he would be reassured by, and that you may not necessarily want to wait a long time for a certain ring. communication is always the first step i think!
good luck 🙂
Post # 5
@flownmuse- Well, budget is definitely the issue. Traditionally they say it’s 3 months salary, right? I have gotten over the fact that I will never get my dream Tiffany’s ring that costs the amount of a brand new BMW (haha) and I am more than ok with that. I’ve found the type of ring I wants for about half the price they usually go for on eBay and Craigslist and told him, so the ball is really in his court now. I do like nice things, and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a little materialistic, so anything but a diamond is really out of question, personally.We’re not kids, we are both 29 and work full time jobs that pay fairly decently.
@peonia- Thank you, I am really very lucky to have my parents help me with that! I’m pretty open with him about ring shopping and like I said above, have suggested eBay and Craigslist to him. He had even suggested maybe just buying the setting or something smaller but I would rather wait I guess that have to explain to people that it isn’t my “real” ring. Sigh. I really feel like I’m just being a big brat sometimes, especially when I actually verbalize my feelings. Haha.
Post # 6
Congrats on the house! If you arent wanting to look at alternatives to diamonds (and thats OK – some people aren’t!) then you may just have to wait a touch longer. Paying down debt should be his priority and I like that you want him to buy it outright and not finance.
Dont let him saying it wont be for a long time get you down – his idea of a long time might be shorter than your idea!