Situations that lead you on

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

ha ha this is basically my life. all the time right now. 🙁

I am trying my hardest NOT to allow myself to think ‘maybeeee this is the moment/ maybeee its when we got to XXXX/ Maybeee its this weekend’

but its not easy, and i have gotten upset on a couple of occassions now, (your only human i guess!)

Post # 5
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Sometimes it us doing it to ourselves.

My FI would take me to dinner at a special restaurant – and I would be like *this is it  this is it this is it!!!* and…nothing.

Or he got us a cruise for Christmas…or going to a special New Years Eve party.

Every single time I would get all hyped up thinking about a possible proposal and not just enjoy the moment. Now I wish I would have just been happy and in the moment for that special birthday dinner…I went through two horrible years of this. Why do we do this?!?! lol

Anyways, it’s usually not him ‘leading you on’ so much as him showing you he trusts he, and loves you – if it’s right it will come. It just takes guys a lot longer to get used to the idea then it does for us.

Post # 6
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

@suburbian:  i hate the whole process cause i would LOVE to just be able to enjoy these lovely moments in our relatinship, instead im in bits inside thinking is it coming?!!

i think the worst worry for me is; i hope i still have that moment of absolute joy, i really worry i will just be like OOH FINALLYYY!!! its a bit like the longer i wait, the less excited i am and the more annoyed/(dare i say resetful) i feel…you know what i mean?

Post # 7
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I fully understand.  My SO says all sorts of things that get me wondering but I am doing much better at realizing that the more I try to anticipate things, the more I will let myself down needlessly.

I know a proposal is coming and I’m quite sure it will happen before the end of the summer, what more do I need than that?  I just have to keep reminding myself of our fantastic relationship and that it’s not his fault I’m reading too much into things all the time or taking one little comment he makes and blowing it totally out of proportion.

Try not to spend too much time in the waiting forums 🙂

 

Post # 8
Member
1631 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mollypuppy:  I have said it before but I strongly feel like I would have waited another year if I wouldn’t have forced FI to wrap his head around the idea sooner. I would bring it up in non-threatening ways – like…who would you want to be in your wedding party? Or – what do think about getting married outside? Or – what’s your favorite kind of cake…would you want that for a wedding cake flavor?

Also, I asked other – more long term questions – like, how will we split the bills after we are married. How many kids do you see us having? Where do you see us in three years?

I always tried to keep it light and conversational – never pushy and never accusatory. For my FI I think the idea of getting married was just so huge he couldn’t swallow it all one sitting. So this helped him to get familiar with the things associated with weddings and marriage without ever getting scary or threatening.

It sounds like I treated him like a little kid – which maybe in some ways I was persistant and thoughtful enough to not disagree. But each time we talked dhe would warm up to it more and more.

I’m not saying I have all the answers – or that I didn’t have internal freak outs pretty consistantly (sometimes external). I just wanted to pass along my 2 cents. 🙂 Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Post # 9
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@mollypuppy:  You’ll still be excited, trust me!  I had that same rollercoaster of emotions and when it happened I had to tell myself it was happening then I got all gushy and “OMG Yes!” lol

Post # 10
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@NinjaWings:  I know exactly how you are feeling! I am feeling that way right now! It’s pretty frustrating!

Post # 11
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

ugh, hes supposed to do it before september so every saturday i hold my breath but nope, hasnt come yet…only 11 more saturdays left…

Post # 12
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

There have been SOOO many moments where all of a sudden I think he’s going to propose and I start breathing heavy and NOPE! Nada. I think most girls would agree with you they’ve had those moments!

Post # 13
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

I got “Well I can’t buy it in front of you!” yesterday… I’m not sure what to make of that.

Post # 15
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m not quite there yet, but SO is taking paid time off from work for our 7 year anniversary ( July 1 ) and the 4th of July. I don’t see how he would have the ring we picked out already, but I keep thinking about those dates. Trying not to psyche myself out.

We’re also planning a romantic trip in October.

He’s always told me it wouldn’t be a holiday like a birthday or Christmas or V-Day, but he also told me ( for the first time ever ) that he’s planning on being home for holidays this year. He’s always offered to work for those with spouses or kids before. I’m very excited to have Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s with him, but I’m wondering why this year he has decided he needs to have family time.

Post # 16
Member
48 posts
Newbee

I just hope that when it finally happens I say yes instead of “it’s about damn time”

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