Post # 1
I just need to vent a bit and here it is…
We finally got the bridal party figured out, just to have one of the groomsmen drop out today (I do understand why, but c’mon this close??). So we decided to put the usher in as a groomsman and now one of the bridesmaids said she would just come as a guest instead. For whatever reason she isn’t comfortable with walking with a 9 year old. We aren’t doing a bridal party dance (I’ve been in the situation where I was made to dance with someone I didn’t know and was extremely uncomfortable). The thing is, she knows the kid, its her best friend’s son!
So now, my fiance is trying to find a replacement for a groomsman. This wouldn’t bother me so much but hmm let’s see, I already talked to his sister about the 9 year old being a groomsman (her son), we’re gonna have to foot the bill for that tux (already trying to figure out how to get some stuff covered).
I never thought I’d be one of those “bridezilla” types and honestly, I think I’ve been very relaxed with people. However, I’m thinking perhaps I shoulda been more on top of people.
I think I’m ticked off right now mostly because well, this is mine and my fiance’s day so why would anyone think they have the right to dictate how we do things?! Why would this bridesmaid think it okay to put conditions on her participating? Or am I wrong?
Whoo thanks for the “ears” bees…..
Post # 3
Nope! You are not wrong in thinking that! It’s a bummer that people don’t understand that.
Sorry all this is going on! Hope it all gets better! : )
Post # 4
no, your not wrong. however, it would look and feel awkward for a woman to be escorted by a 9 yr. old. Why do they have to walk together?
I totally understand bridal party drama. I lost my MOH (twice) and then the girl I was going to promote cheated on her husband who is also a groomsmen. Ya, we’re down two. 2 ladies will be each escorted by 2 men. It’s OK to have uneven numbers…
I wasn’t happy about this all when it happened barely a few weeks ago (like you, I was like, REALLY, NOW! Within a MONTH you tell me!) but I’ve come to terms with being uneven and once you decide to be OK with something it will help a lot 🙂
Post # 5
@KLP2010 We finally had it where we were at 4 bridesmaids, 3 groomsmen and 2 ushers and I was okay with that. My fiance’s sister mentioned her walking with her 11 year old (originally an usher) to even things up. At this point I was “whatever” about it.
So Saturday when I found out the other groomsman was backing out, I figured lets put the other kid in because we don’t really need an usher anyway. I put the 9 year old with this particular bridesmaid because they know each other (I dunno maybe that’s part of the issue with this bridesmaid). She said she could just be in the audience… fine, whatever. I just need an answer one way or another. I have to change info with everybody.
We’re going to leave both boys in, probably just have them both walk down with their mom then the last bridesmaid can either walk alone or not walk.
Post # 6
Why not just have the parties be uneven? There’s nothing weird about that, and it seems like asking somebody to be in your wedding party at this point is kind of a no-no – it makes it seem like that person is only important to you as a stand-in or as someone to keep numbers even (which they are), not as someone who is important enough in your life to ask them to begin with. I am not very supportive of the whole “the numbers have to be even” thing. It’s about who is important to you, and that is almost never perfectly paired off boy-girl-boy-girl evenly.
Post # 7
I think it’s wrong of your BM to back out because of who she’s walking with. She should be there to support you first and foremost, this isn’t about her. And I’m sorry to hear you’ve had so much ‘turnover’ with the groomsmen!
Honestly you’re so close now I would just accept the fact that the parties are uneven. Better to only have your intended true friends stand then try to force the issue to make it ‘look nice’.
Post # 8
I agree, I was fine with uneven before but the fiance kept pushing the issue. Part of the problem is that my fiance asked his friends to be in and a couple of them hem and hawed long enough we had to find other people, etc. I’m just done caring. That sounds so bad, I know.
We’ve got it figured out, provided no one else drops out… 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen and the boys will just walk with their momma. I got bigger issues at this point lol.