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first of all you should pick out your envelope. That should be the determining factor on your size :D Some envelopes believe it or not a cheaper to send than others.
We sent ours as a post card and didn't even need an envelope. As for what size? Pick what would work best with your design.
P.S. we are date twins
Yes ~ We looked at it and they are both in the same postage category. The larger cards are slightly more expensive to print, but it is not a significant cost difference.
I keep trying to picture it on someone's refridgerator or bulletin board ...
I can't decide which size seems more appropriate
as to what size; whatever size you want, I dont think there is a tradition. Ours is DL.
As far as size, there is a minimum size for postcards - 3 1/2" tall by 5" long. Anything smaller and you will need a bigger envelope to put it in. That's post office standards.
We went with a 5 x 7 photo postcard and they ended up being the perfect size for people to put in a frame. So ours were just a plain photo with the info on the back. But now our guest don't just have a piece of wedding stationary, they have a great photo of us!
Ours are 3.5 x 5, since that's the size the envelopes we got from Paper Source were.
I think you should do whatever looks good to your eye - not sure if that helps...
Mine are totally different. They're a book mark size 3 7/8 x 9 1/4
Its all up to you, the one and only 
We just did 4 X 5 postcards and it saved us a ton of money on postage! We didn't use envelopes at all.
Mine are 5x7 postcards, which unfortunately aren't eligible for postcard postage pricing. It's the same cost as a regular letter. I guess we might have saved a little because we didn't have envelopes.
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We are preparing to print Save the Dates (we are getting married in July) and my question is - what is the ideal size for Save the Date Cards? We are trying to decide between 4x6 or 5x7 -
Any thoughts?