(Closed) Skipping the unity candle/sand/etc?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

We didn’t do either of these traditions during our ceremony.  We just wanted to keep things kind of "short and sweet" and created our own ceremony with our officiant’s help.  No one mentioned anything to us, so I don’t think it was a big deal.

Post # 4
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

As a wedding planner you can skip thesse forms of ceremony. They are just symbols but It like a mini representation of 2 hearts being joined as one. Instead of these ceremony why not incorporate cultural traditions into your wedding. E.g feeding each other bread, or breaking a glass, jumping over a broom stick, driniking wine.

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t think we are going to do either the unity candle or the sand ceremony. The sand ceremony sounds good in theory but I’m pretty clutzy and I know at some point the sand will get spilled or the glass vase get broken. As for the unity candle, my mom passes away 5 and a half years ago and I have two sisters-in-law and four aunts and I would feel really weird about picking just one of them to stand in for my mom.

What I want to do his have my FMIL do a meaningful reading during the ceremony.

Post # 6
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Actually, our priest said that he would not allow additional ceremonies like unity candles unless it was a cultural thing (like the lasso and the jaras for a Latino wedding).  I think these ceremonies are popular, but not necessary, so nobody will notice if you don’t have one.

Post # 7
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

No candles or sand for us! However, we are honoring the Native American part of my heritage by doing a honoring the 4 directions ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

we wont be doing any type of ‘tradition’ at our ceremony, like jessie516 were keeping it ‘short and sweet’ the only think we are doing is short vows for one another but no candles, sand, rocks, string etc…

Post # 9
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

we aren’t doing any unity candle/wine/etc ceremony. keeping it very simple.

Post # 10
Member
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re skipping it too!  It’s a very new tradition and not necessary.

Post # 11
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Unity rituals, though lovely and personal and fun, are not a required part of a wedding ceremony – in fact, most places, the only requirement is that you, at some point, agree to marry the other person. 

Post # 12
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I have never wanted the unity candle thing ever since I saw a friend of mine (back in college) catch her nail on fire doing that. 

Sand?  Not sure about that either unless we’re at the beach.

 

Post # 13
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We are not doing either of them, I am a major klutz and just see the sand toppling all over, or catching my dress on fire…we’ll just keep it simple and sweet.

Post # 14
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not doing the unity candle or the sand either.  I just attended a wedding where they did sand and they took turns pouring the sand it, and it… took… forever.  Instead, we are doing a "wish stone" type deal where everyone makes a well wish for the couple (kind of cheesy I know) and places a stone into a vase.  Then, during the ceremony, my FH and I will place our stones into the vase and it will represent us coming together, but also everyone who was present on our special day.  Just a little something different…

Post # 15
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

my best friend skipped it but i don’t think anyone noticed. i only knew because i helped her plan the wedding and we had discussed the logistics beforehand. if you’re not feeling it, just leave it out. no worries!

Post # 16
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

we have battled over this for awhile, org. we were going to do it simply because all of our family has, then we realized they’ve all had church wedding and are pretty tradition in general…. we however are not. not at all so we’ve decided to skip it! The fiance is still trying to convince me to replace this portion of the ceremony with a ‘party popper’ ceremony. 

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