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@Mrs. Red Sox: Does he ever come to bed with you? Does he need the tv for white noise?
Can you get a white noise machine for the bedroom and see if that helps him?
Has he ever slept in bed with you?
I would let him know how much it would mean to you for him to come to bed with you.
We sleep in the same bed, but I'm personally acquainted with a few couples who sleep separately, some have their own bedrooms. For one, she and he both simply like to have their personal space while sleeping. They have a perfectly healthy and happy marriage, they simply sleep apart. Ask your husband if he would be willing to stay with you until you fall asleep, or if he'd be willing to stay with you for a few nights a week, and go from there.
As a single guy living alone, Mr. LK slept on the couch with the TV on every night. But once we started having sleepovers, he always made it a point to come to bed with me. And now that we live together, he sleeps in our bed every night and has grown accustomed to sleeping in silence.
If your SO really needs sound in order to sleep, maybe you could try playing light music in your room, like a relaxation CD or classical music? Or maybe a white noise machine could work for him?
We did this for a while. I like to read late, and the light bothered him. His solution was to get a sleep mask.
Sometimes I'll move to the couch if I can't sleep, but we generally try to fall asleep together.
I do know a very happily married couple who sleep in completely different bedrooms. Just because they realized that they were better off that way. They're completely in love and their marriage seems awesome.
So I think the more important thing is an arrangement that both of you are on board with.
My parents started with seperate beds when my Dad started working shifts, then graduated to seperate rooms when we moved to a larger house. They've been married 38 years, and are delighted to tell me that "sleep is sleep and sex is sex" and that they visit each other regularely... but each kicks the other out when its time to actually go to sleep :) Now, having said that, it's not something I would want to do at this point in my marriage, so if I were in your shoes I'd bite the bullet and get a TV for the bedroom, and a sleep mask and some earplugs for myself.
FI tends to fall asleep down stairs while watching tv pretty much every night but he will come to bed once he wakes up and realizes he's fallen asleep again.
We also like to have some noise on in order to sleep and we use a box fan. Some nights it's too chilly to actually have it blowing on us so we just turn it away and still have that "white noise" feeling.
I don't think I'd be ok if FI NEVER came to bed with me. But, I can say I like falling asleep without having someone snoring next to me lol
My parents sleep in separate rooms, so that's not too weird to me. My dad snores REALLY loudly. Fi sometimes falls asleep in the basement watching TV, and it used to hurt my feelings, but then I realized it has nothing to do with me... it's just where he falls asleep!
Try not to take it personally, and I agree with PP, would you consider putting up a flat screen TV in your bedroom? Something not too intrusive?
My grandparents slept in seperate rooms because my grandpa snored. My mom has to sleep with the tv on so she can sleep but they also have a tv in their room. My fi and i dont have a tv in our room and i dont think itll change, but we also listen to the radio as we're falling asleep... Just talk to him about it, because i dont think it is anything against you, its just how he falls asleep.
My husband and I have the same arrangement, and honestly we've never thought anything of it. He snores like a buzzsaw, and I kick the living daylights out of him. We cuddle and have adult time, but when it's time for sleep, we go our separate ways!
My parents sleep separately now because my mother is tiny and my dad is a big guy who sprawls out and snores. They get along better now because they're doing what works for them and not trying to fit into the mold of how a married couple is supposed to be. Is it really bad for your relationship or are you guys fine and you're just worried?
My best friend needs tv to sleep. She just puts a tv show dvd or a movie on in one of those little mini dvd players that can run on batteries and either puts it on low or wears headphones because she has roommates. Maybe DH could get one of those and just put it on his night stand and face that way so he can fall asleep and you won't be kept awake.
You could also just have a tv in the bedroom and he can set the timer on it to go off at say about 10pm, then you can go to bed when you're ready and he'll already be asleep. My DH likes to sleep with the tv on, and I like white noise so we just watch tv until we're tired and turn it off and leave the fan on.
Honestly, you guys seem fine, if this is your biggest issue it probably isn't taking a very big toll on your relationship. There's a lot more to intimacy than sleeping next to each other.
My husband and I currently sleep in separate rooms (he's in our room and I'm in the guest room). With his work schedule, he's sleeping from 9:30pm until 4am and I sleep from midnight until 6:30am. We both need our rest so this allows us to get up and go to bed as we place without waking the other person. We do sleep in the same bed, though, on the weekends if he doesn't have work. It's not the most romantic arrangement, but it's what makes more practical sense. Our relationship is better for it because we're not tired and cranky!
Thanks everyone for all the amazing advice! I am thinking about getting a TV for the bedroom but money is a bit tight at the moment with planning a wedding and all. I don't mind having a TV in the bedroom and actually like a little white noise or some sort of sound to fall asleep to as well. I usually have a sound machine going with things like the sounds of the ocean or rain going in the background to help me sleep soundly. I offered to have the fan on or turn up my sound machine for him and he refused. I just still feel like sleeping together is an intimate part of a relationship and this whole sleeping in seperate rooms thing is just new to me still.
Once I buy a TV for the bedroom hopefully he will find his way into bed with me but if not then I guess you ladies are right and I should just stop taking it personally because it really has nothing to do with me. Like many of you said its just where he falls asleep.
Thank you again for all the advice you bees really helped put my mind at ease! 
FI and I sleep in separate rooms and I love it! I NEED a good sleep...both of us do...
We usually snuggle together in one bed or the other and then drift off to our own nests to sleep.
If he has to have a TV for the noise, get a fan. I cannot sleep without my fan, but I also can't sleep with a TV on. Just try getting a nightlight and a fan in your room and see if he'll try to sleep in there, then.
I have always thought a "Gone With The Wind" set up would be ideal! I get my pretty room and he can come visit. LOL
I have lived and slept on my own for 42 years. FI and I aren't moving in with each other until after the wedding but We are trying "sleep overs" on Saturdays when my daughter stays with her dad. I am a very light sleeper and I usually end up in my daughters bed but we are trying. :)
My fiance' also really likes falling asleep with the TV on...which is not my preference. So yeah, if we didn't have a TV in our room he'd likely do the same thing. We compromise on it though. We put it on sleep mode for 30 minutes and when it's off, it's off...and I better not hear it come back on.
aww, i was in the opposite position as you and your FI. i was the one that fell asleep on the couch with the tv on and my SO would wake me up when he woke up for work to move me to the bed. this resulted to us never sleeping in the same bed together.
he mentioned to me a couple times that it bothered him and i genuinely tried, but it was just a bad habit as i stayed up later than him. but more than anything, he never nagged or complained, and told me whatever made me happy was good enough for him and that statement alone made me change my ways! now when i know i'm getting sleeeepy, i move myself into the bedroom, or drink a large glass of water before bed so if i fall asleep on the couch i have to wake up to use the restroom and afterwards crawl into bed =)
Having a TV on all night that no-one is even watching is a huge waste of energy, so if you can find a solution other than this, that's what I would recommend.
My SO still combat sleeps. If I move an inch he wakes up. So he usually sleeps on the couch and I get the bed. I wake up before him and usually go to cuddle with him on the couch for a few minutes in the morning. It works for us.
We sleep together, but I need the tv on for movement. It can go off after I fall asleep but I just need it on for some reason. He deals with it and we put a tv inthe bedroom. Try that if it is important to you to be able to sleep together.
@VickyAurea:thanks for the tip, although i do turn on the sleep timer at night. =)
My parents have slept in different rooms for years, and they have been married 31 years this month. Doesnt seem to bother them. Mom cant deal with his snoring and he can't deal with her snoring, even though she swears she does not.
Sometimes when I dont get a good nights sleep, I will sleep in the other room to make up for it the next night. I sleep better by myself or with just the dog.
Try getting a sound machine with a sleep timer! My old alarm had one and it was great!
We had this issue and I finally got earplugs and a sleep-mask thingy. He uses theese neat heaphones that you plug into the TV.
I had my nuggles and a quiet dark roomand and a happy SO.
Now We have oppisite shifts so I'm going to work when he's going to bed, but it was nice that we came to a common ground. All the tech and coordination was worth it to me, and SO didn't mind the headphones :)
I'm personally in his posistion in that I have to have the TV on to fall asleep. I also rock myself to sleep which honestly drives my FI crazy. Most often I don't even notice I'm doing it because it's something I've done literally my entire life. My doctors from infancy on have always said it's something I do to release pent up energy so I can sleep soundly. My FI and I have managed to find ways to compromise though. For example we got a king size memory foam mattress. The king gives us enough space and the memory foam doesn't transfer movement as much so he doesn't feel me rocking. We also have a system in place now where we fall asleep with the TV on and he just turns it off after I've gone to sleep and turns on the sleep machine instead. The white noise is enough to keep me asleep but not enough to put me to sleep. He likes the sleep machine better too because his problem with the TV is the light not the noise. So far it's working pretty well and we have managed to sleep together happily even with my crazy quirks.
I'm not trying to imply anything by what I'm about to say, it's just my opinion: Moving to separate beds was one of the first signs to me that my ex and I were on our way out. I realized that we no longer felt the desire to be close to each other and I realized also that I didn't care to feel his warmth or hear him breathe as I nodded off to sleep. That was a big sign that I was falling out of love with him. Now, with my fiance, I can't imagine choosing to not sleep next to him. No matter how small the bed, his presence is such a comfort to me. Sleeping next to one another is another kind of intimacy other than sex that I know I would miss if I didn't have it. I love waking up and seeing him there and knowing that we're on life's journey together. So, again, I don't mean to criticize anyone's relationship, but I'm surprised how many people choose to sleep separate from their partners.
Me and my fiance share a bed, we always have done. However I sleep better with the little tv in the bedroom on plus the hallway light on whereas he prefers to sleep in pitch black and silence. I am waaaaaay too nervous for this (my ex used to stalk me and it has kind of left me nervous at night time) so what normally happens is either I wait until he's asleep before turning the tv on (on mute - I always use subtitles anyway as I'm partially deaf) and it doesn't disturb him, or he uses a sleep mask.
I would hate not to share a bed with him as it is my most favourite place to be - snuggled in his arms at night when the rest of the world doesn't matter :)
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So there is a major issue between my FI and I. Well it's more of an issue for me it seems than it is for him. We don't sleep in the same bed or even in the same room. He sleeps in the living room on the couch and I sleep in the bedroom. It really bothers me that we don't share this space or this time together. I feel like its bad for our relationship and it makes me feel like we are mere roommates at times.
I've approached the subject several times and his excuse is always he has to sleep with the TV on. (we don't have a TV in the bedroom) However I am wondering if this habit will ever change even if we put a TV in the bedroom or if I am doomed to a roommate marriage and sleeping alone forever.
Does anyone else have this problem?