- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
Ok I’m going to try to make as much sense as possible but I am really upset so bare with me if it gets a bit jumbled.
Ok FI and I have lived together for a good 4+ years. Tonight he sprung on me that he feels it would be better if we start sleeping in seperate rooms.
A lot of backstory:
*we have different work schedules I work nights he works days so we only spend a couple hours in bed together as it is (if that many nights I am still up when he gets up for work.) So we’ll say maybe 50% of the time we share a bed for a couple hours. When we first got together and were living together we both worked nights and would go to bed at the same time, but that was over 3 years ago.
*He has to sleep with a fan on him. He can not stand being even slightly warm while he sleeps and it affects his sleep a lot when he is too warm. I can’t have the fan on high when I’m in there, it makes me sneeze and irritates the crap out of me. We have compromised for a long time where when I come to bed I turn it to medium and when he gets up, he shuts it off.
*He has to sleep with the tv on. It was hard for me to get used to but over the years I have, even though I still breathe a sigh of relif when the power goes out on it can’t be on. I love a quiet bedroom.
*He snores like crazy, so when I do sleep with him I wake up on and off until he gets up to get him to get back on his side (in turn waking him up)
*We got a dog a bit over a year ago, because I was really lonely and still was not sleeping well without him in the bed. Puk (dog) has greatly improved my sleep, having that warm body there really helps me out and lets me not wake up over every little noise because I know he will wake me up if he hears something.
*Dog hair has become a big issue for him. No matter how much I clean the room and change the sheets he still manages to wake up with dog hair in his mouth, up his nose and his ears (according to him) and it drives him nuts.
*I need to spread out when I sleep (I have issues with my joints and I have to really offest my hips to sleep comfortably) We have a king size bed but apprently he has begun to sleep on the edge of the bed because of it. (adding the dog has not helped that)
*His sleeping on the edge of the bed has become habbit and getting worse. He now by instinct sleeps on the very very edge of the bed. And when I say edge I mean he has to have one hand on the floor to keep himself from falling out of the bed. This has caused both his arms to go numb while he sleeps, and has been affecting his hips and back.
*When I do come to bed while he is still sleeping I invenitbly wake him up with my fixing the blankets, getting Puk settled in, and getting myself situated.
*His alarm always wakes me up, and he hits snooze twice before getting up so its three times I am woken up.
So because of ALL of this, but mainly the edge of the bed and the dog hair issues, he has decided it will be better for us to no longer sleep in the same room. I do see his points and I do see that they are vailid in that both of us will probaly sleep better. And I really don’t see a solution I can find that will make it to where we can still sleep in the same room.
I have always had the outlook of that a happy couple shares the same bed no matter what. So I’m beyond terrified that we will fall apparet if we don’t share the same bed. (I know this may or may not make a whole lot of sense)
Another issue I have is that everyother weekend his son stays with us, so he will be sleeping in his sons room, and he says when his son is here he will sleep on the couch so his son can have his room. Only have two bedrooms so I am really not sure what to do with this one. But with that plan I really do not see him sleeping well at all while his son is here. I’ve had the tought of just getting a second bed for that room, but I think it would be weird for a 16 year old to have to share his room with his father. So maybe a sleeper sofa in the living room and I just resign myself to my room when he goes to bed so I won’t be keeping him up with my movements?
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to accpet this, change this, or what to do logisticly. Any help would be appreciated.