(Closed) sleeping in same bed as SO, is this ok?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

If they put a mattress on the floor for you, I am going to assume that it’s better for you to sleep on that mattress.  Especially if you’re not going to be comfortable sleeping anyway!  You’ll have plenty of chances to sleep in the same bed in the future.. I wouldn’t risk having his parents dislike you if they found out. 

Post # 4
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Whoa! That’s crazy! Sleep together in the same bed! 

Post # 6
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I would sleep in his bed. I find it rather rediculous that they allow you to sleep in the same room and not in the same bed…you are not teenagers. I had an ex in college and his parents didn’t allow us to sleep in the same room but were fine to leave us home alone in their house all day and knew that we lived in the same co-ed dorm at school. Since they let you sleep in the same room with a closed door, have they ever opened the door before? Why can’t you each talk to your parents about this, I think you are both old enough to be living on your own and then they would not have a say so they should be abit flexible if they are allowing him (you) to live in their home. 

Post # 7
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree kind of silly rule to me too. However you are sleeping under someme rules and even though it’s silly to have matress on floor in the same room. I would respect the fact that it’s their house. Unless it’s one of those things were everyone knows it’s happen and the matress is just there for shower.I was with my ex for five years and everytime I went home he had to sleep on the couch or we had to stay at a hotel my parents are just old fashion in that way.

Post # 8
5065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would abide by the rules of their home.

Post # 9
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

 It might be silly but a lot of families have the “no sleeping in the same bed” until you are married rule. Their house, their rules. It is kind enough for them to let you stay there to save money, I wouldn’t be to upset about this.

Post # 12
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t agree with the rule and think it’s a little silly as well but I think breaking the rule is pretty disrespectful. We don’t sleep in the same bed when we visit FI’s house even though we live together (it’ll change when we are married) and I think that’s super ridiculous but it’s their house and their rules.

Post # 14
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think if you are under their roof, i would abide by their rules.

Post # 15
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

My now husband and I were dating for almost 5 years before we got married.  At his parents house, they were fine with us sleeping in the same bed.  At my parents house, we were not allowed in the same room to sleep.  He slept in my brother’s room and my brother took the couch. 

Did I like it? Not really.  But it was my parent’s rules so that is what we followed. 

Post # 16
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@scarlette:  they’ve walked in unannounced… in the middle of the night?  Personally I would leave the mattress but sleep in the same bed to keep up the appearance (and actually when I still lived with my parents, Fiance would sleep in my brother’s old room and I would sneak over there in the middle of the night).  But if they tend to walk in without knocking during the time that you guys would be sleeping, with lights off etc., you should follow their house rules and sleep on a separate mattress (that’s a little crazy though!).

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