Slightly frustrated but not ungreatful, 1st time venting.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@asianbarbie:  Ouch!  That’s not a very nice thing to do.  That’s a gift to you and your future husband, not your mother!

And as such, surely your FI gets a say in whether your mother gets the money or not?

Post # 4
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

+1. That doesn’t sound good, and I don’t think your aunt would appreciate what your mom is doing.

Post # 6
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

That’s weird. It’s your gift, not your mothers. I would tell her that in the nicest way possible. And use the gift your aunt gave you for the wedding. What does your aunt think of your moms idea?

Post # 7
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@asianbarbie:  I know that’s your mother and all but you are a grown ass woman able to do whatever you please with a GIFT that was bestowed upon you and your betrothed  Whatever money your mother contributed was a gift as was the check your tia gave you so its yours to keep. If your mom couldnt afford to fork over the money to you for “liquid coins” they she shouldnt have. Your mother’s demands (not even an inquiry or request) should fall on deaf ears. Tell her sorry but no can do! 

ETA: You make a great point – she could gift it back to you 6 months, 1 year or NEVER! Stash your cash while you can!

Post # 8
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@asianbarbie:  I know that’s your mother and all but you are a grown ass woman able to do whatever you please with a GIFT that was bestowed upon you and your betrothed  Whatever money your mother contributed was a gift as was the check your tia gave you so its yours to keep.  Your mother’s demands (not even an inquiry or request) should fall on deaf ears. Tell her sorry but no can do! 

Exactly this! Simply tell your Mom no. 

Post # 11
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You mom has balls.  It’s not her money to do squat with.  It was a gift to you and your FI.  If she didn’t know it was coming prior to agreeing to pay, it’s not hers to do anything with now.  I’d like some more liquid cash too, but I’m not asking you to hand over the gift you just received.  It’s totally inappropriate.  If your Aunt wanted to help out your mom, that’s her prerogative and she can do that.  

Post # 12
Member
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@asianbarbie:  UGH! She sounds like “Mommy Dearest” –NO WIRE HANGERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Sorry – outburst.

I get that she is footing the bill but if she is asking for 1/3 of it back via your aunt’s gift then she’s really not BUT I do see what your dilemma is.

This may sound super shitty but tell your aunt what your mother is doing and give your aunt back the check. That way if you dont get what is rightfully yours then NO ONE gets it. Screw that! Then again I’m an asshole and maybe not the best person to give advice but its the way I would handle it none the less.

Post # 13
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@asianbarbie:  Yikes. That’s really unfair. I realize that maybe her finances got tight last minute, but what would she have done it your Aunt hadn’t come through with a large amount of gift money for you? Would your mother have still pulled her funds, or do you think she is only pulling them now because your Aunt gave you money?

If it’s the latter, I’m sure you’re Aunt would be pissed, & rightfully so.

I’m sorry you are going through this 🙁

Post # 14
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@asianbarbie:  By your name, I assume you are Asain. You were just venting so I’m not going to offer advise…but I understand and it sucks! Your hands are tied and while it would be great to “stand up to her”, that simply isn’t an option. You are in tough spot, try to just keep your head up and not take her critical comments about how you are saving money to heart.

Post # 15
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@asianbarbie:  Just say no….or mom, I counted on that money and auntie’s money is separate from that…its for our home xyz whatever.  Tell her you will have to cut back, you have enough time to do so.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors