Post # 1
I’m a semi regular poster but decided to use a different account because I don’t want SO to find me on here. I think my other name was too obvious. Anyway…my SO and I had a short discussion about when he might see himself getting married if we were happy and still together. Well, it was kinda like “less than 5 years”. Ok sure less than that would be good, but holy hell I hope I’m not waiting that long. I love this guy and I want some babies! So basically I’m a little disappointed since he isn’t quite on the same page as me but he loves me and we really are happy! I think maybe it’s time to stop thinking about it so much and try and focus on making our relationship even better! Thanks for letting me get that out! Love this place!
Post # 3
How long have you been together and how old are you? Just asking because 5 years seems alot. But if your happy…then it will be worth the wait right?
Post # 4
We have been together a year (yes I know it’s not that long but we have both done the 6+ year relationship that lead to engagement and didn’t work out). I am 26, and 5 years would not be the end of the world I just did not see myself waiting until 31 to get married. But then again I didn’t think it would take me til I was 27 to graduate college either! Of course it would be worth the wait! I think I just need to view things a little differently or I might go crazy.
Post # 5
You’re totally right! You should focus on the relationship and make it better. // I think you’ll have to let him warm up to the idea on his own. No suggestions or hints! It’ll be hard but you’re going to have to try. And, give yourself an invisible deadline; one that is there but not written in stone. You don’t want to wait years and years for an engagement but you don’t want to rush it either.
Post # 6
Just curious, what was his reasoning? Is the relationship too new? Is it financial? Is he waiting for a more stable career?
Post # 7
@Loveispatient: I think 26 is where it really starts to get to you! (At least in my case – I’m 26 too.) It sounds like you really love him, so maybe take some time to see how it goes? I like the idea of an invisible deadline – even if it’s not “if we’re not engaged by this time I’m leaving” but more like, “if this isn’t brought up again or he hasn’t proposed by this time, I need to have a serious talk with him and then start making decisions for myself.”
Post # 8
this is your life he is making decisions about, if you dont agree with a 5 year wait, find a happy medium and compromise. it sounds like hes leading and youre following along with what he wants, when you dont agree with his timeframe. its okay to speak up and disagree.
Post # 9
I think a year of dating is a good amount of time to open the discussion and at least know what to expect. If you would be happy waiting, say, 2 years, that would be good for him to know. If he knows what to expect from you, that could maybe help you guys decide on a timeline that makes both of you happy