Slowly losing my mind…NEWBEE here!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

Well, you can’t decide when others get engaged or married. I understand you’re upset, but being mad at your family members is not at all reasonable. They didn’t do anything to you. How long they’ve been together compared to you and your SO is of no consequence to you. Please, don’t make their engagement about you. You will get engaged when you get engaged. 

You know he has the ring. That’s good. Has he set a date by which he will propose? If he hasn’t maybe you should ask him to. Make it clear that you don’t want him to sit on the ring. He has it, you know he has it, there’s no need to draw this out. However, since you think he may propose during Christmas, just hold on. Give him the rest of the year to propose since it’s almost over.

Take comfort in the fact that you already have the ring and you know he’s going to propose. I know it’s difficult, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about at this point. What you want is likely pretty close to happening. Try to distract yourself by browsing wedding sites and seeing what you like, or by reading a book or something.  

Post # 4
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I would really stop trying to compare the progress of your relationship against that of your relatives. Their engagement has nothing to do with you and people will still be excited for you when it happens, regardless of what is going on with them! It might even be nice to have someone to talk wedding planning with once the engagement does happen. I would be more worried about pressuring my SO into doing it before he was ready or ruining a surprise that he was trying to put together… he has the ring, you know it’s coming, so take a deep breath and be excited! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/why-do-men-sit-on-a-ring-its-not-like-its-gonna-hatch

Or check on my page for this thread.  It’s the last one I started.

I’m not sure how to get a link on here but this is a thread I started a few days ago.  I wanted to understand why some men get the ring and then wait a month, a year, whatever to propose.  There was some interesting feedback on the amounts of time men hold on to rings.  Ranging from 30 minutes to 1.5 years.  My ring is supposed to be finished in two weeks and I am so anxious he will hold on to it until some time when all the planets align, the moon is blue, the republicans win back the senate, whatever time he thinks is “special”.  I think I’ll get it for Christmas, too, but it’s killin me.

If I were you, the only thing I would be focused on is getting that ring on my finger.  All the other stuff that happened before is water under the bridge.  Honey, you are weeks away from being ENGAGED!  But 90% of your post was complaining about the past.  It’s so yesterday.  Spend all that energy being happy knowing it’s coming.  That’s my plan at least.  If I get pouty or overly anxious it will slow down my ring getting because things won’t feel “right” to him.  Since I’ve been smiling and happy knowing the ring is purchased he has never been so attentive or loving.  Just a thought on attitude.

One last thing.  While reading your post when I got to where you describe his bills (house, motorcycle, car) I thought to myself, “If he really wants to marry her he’d sell his pretty toy motorcycle and get a ring.”  Lower down when you said he sold his pistol (a valued man toy) to buy you a ring, I couldn’t help but smile.  He sounds like a keeper.

Post # 6
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

First of all, congrats! You guys have bought the ring together, so I guess you’re kind of “pre-engaged”. SO and I purchased my ring online and it was delivered 2 months ago. We go on vacation today and he will propose while we’re away; that’s why I don’t have it on my finger yet! I’ve found that waiting is easier for me because I know when it’s coming. Lots of other bees have talked about setting a ‘timeline’ with your SO, and I think that definitely helps calm you down. Even if it’s just him saying “We will be engaged by next summer” or something.

Post # 8
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Welcome to the Bee! 

I think you’re worrying far too much about other people. In this post alone you compared yourself and your relationship to several other people. You also mentioned that your family is pressuring you. None of these are good reasons to get married. I think you know that. So when you find yourself going to that place remember how much you love your SO and that he will propose when he is ready. 

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