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I'm pretty sure there's no polite way to invite some guests to one event and not the other. If you were having a destination wedding and at-home reception it would be ok, but I'd be pretty offended if I was only invited to part of the wedding.
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That kind of depends... if there was a gap longer than say, three hours it might be acceptable. But even so, what if the others found out?!? I would be so worried about that! I might suggest either you hold the ceremony another day or much earlier, then do a night reception if you realllllyyyyy want to make it work though.
I would be offended (and probably would not attend either event) if I were invited to the reception and not the ceremony.
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That pretty much answers my question. Thanks! I will definitely not be doing this, I really don't want to offend anyone.
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Yeah, I'd say that the only way to do this is if your ceremony is UBER small, like ours. People understand "just parents". Basically it's like "check yourself. if you are not our mom or dad, you are not coming to the ceremony. dont be offended, just have fun at the reception."
I don't think it's much of a problem. My fiance's mom even mentioned that some people won't even go to the ceremony, even if they're invited, that they just go to the reception. I would just use the size of your venue as an excuse.
I am shocked that I'm in the minority on this one, but I'd be ok with only being invited to the reception. It's not like you're inviting me to the ceremony, but not the dinner.
This is pretty common practice for the state that I am getting married in. This is due to a major religion there where the ceremonies are held in temples where only members of the religion can attend. Even though I do not belong to the religion I am choosing to limit the number of people invited to the ceremony. My choice is also due to the venue size for the ceremony. I am handling the invite by having the main invitation worded as an invitation for the reception and then including a separate ceremony insert for those that are invited to the ceremony. It may be accepted in my home town because so many people are used to it. I am surprised to see that so many would be offended.
We are actually doing this. Only immediate family and grandparents for the ceremony and everyone for the reception later. I don't feel bad about it...we're sort of treating the reception as a family reunion/picnic. It's not wedding centered and doesn't have all the wedding traditions. If guests are so offended they won't come, they'd probably find something else wrong with your day....so I wouldn't worry about it.
I think we're going to rely on word of mouth since 95% of the guests are family.
thanks bees! It's nice to get both positives and negatives about this one. I personally would not be offended just to go to a reception, either, but I can see both sides! I don't know what I will end up doing, but I will definitely take everyone's points into account! Thanks for your help ladies!!:)
Emily Post's newest edition of her Wedding Etiquette Guide states that it is fine to have a more private ceremony and then have a much larger reception- but it is not okay to do it the other way around. I still dont know if we will do this, but I just thought some might be interested in what Mrs. Post thinks about it!
Yeah, I think this is perfectly acceptable. Just be wary of people showing up early to the reception as the ceremony is ending.
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Again, I dont think we will be doing this anymore. But, Originally we were planning on having them spaced out in the day, not one right after the other.
I would say that it's totally fine. It's your prerogative who you want to include in which part of your special day, and if you want a private ceremony but a large reception where you'll be able to party it up with everyone, then go for it! =)
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FH and I have discussed doing a smaller, private, ceremony (60 people, closest fam and friends) and then having our reception include everyone else that we want and our parents want to include. I don't want to seem like I'm being "elitist" about my ceremony, but I know my parents want to invite a bunch of people (i.e. business associates, friends) that I don't know very well, and I would like to keep the ceremony more personal and private for people who really know us. Additionally, the ceremony verandah at the venue we want only holds about 70 people, but we are doing a tented reception in the courtyard after (which can hold as many people as we want.) For the reception, the more the merrier! Is there a polite way to do this? Or, is this a bad idea? Has anyone accomplished this? What kind of wording did you use? Thanks a bunch :)