- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My fiance recently discussed cutting our guest list down from about 200+ people to around 130ish, mainly because of money concerns.
I casually mentioned this to my mom, and we got into a discussion about her absurdly huge extended family (great aunts & uncles, cousins, divorcees we still talk to, etc). I explained to her that I wouldn’t MIND if those people attended, but I wouldn’t miss them if they weren’t there — same thing for my Dad’s small, distant family and casual friends.
So like 3 days later my parents came to me and offered to pay for the food for our wedding if they could have some say so in the guest list (ie: invite all of these people I wouldn’t miss but wouldn’t maliciously exclude). This would be, like, 60% of the cost of the entire wedding so of course it’d be a huge help.
My fiance and I are cool with this idea, and I’m all about having a big old fashioned style “hunky” (aka Slovak, Croatian) celebration, but I would still like to keep the ceremony low key and intimate.
I just don’t want, like, a million eyes staring at me as I walk down the aisle or as we say our vows. I don’t want to feel like I’m under a microscope and be all nervous, etc.
So my plan is to have a smaller ceremony and only invite about 50 or so people, then have a big bash afterwards with all those crazy relatives I haven’t seen in about 8 years and probably won’t see again until someone else gets married or dies.
Is this “proper” etiquette? And if not, should I really care? I mean, it is OUR day and we should do what we want, right?
And if this IS okay, should I just send out two seperate invitations? Like a small set inviting close friends & relatives to the ceremony and reception, then another set to the more distant people only inviting them to the reception?
Thoughts, opinions, advice would be helpful. Thanks!