Small Ceremony with Large Reception?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve never heard of being invited to the reception and not the ceremony. I think it might be offensive to those only invited to one. I know your FI isn’t a big fan of people, but if they’re attending the reception what’s the big deal if they come to the ceremony?

 

Post # 4
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We are doing this. I think they refer to it as a tiered reception(?). Anyway, we were very explicit that we are having family only at the ceremony then a huge reception afterwards. So far nobody has been offended.  Wew ant to celebrate with our friends but the ceremony is very private. It’s our compromise because I wanted to elope. 

Post # 5
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I don’t think you can invite people to the ceremony and NOT the reception, though. 

Post # 6
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is not uncommon to have a smaller ceremony and a larger reception. Seems like a solution for you and your FI.

It would not stop me from travelling if I were invited to the reception only. That’s the largest percentage time-wise of the event anyhow.

Post # 8
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  Well, I googled it and apparently it is somewhat common! I feel kind of dumb because I have never heard of it, but if that’s a way you can compromise, go for it! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t like the idea.  What’s the point of celebrating an event with these people if you do not want them at said event?  You know?  it dosn’t make sense to me.  I donno how I’d feel if I got an invite like that, never have.  

Post # 10
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

To me it’s greedy and selfish.  You’re basically saying I’m not good enough to share your day but I still have to buy you a gift. Your wedding is the act in which you are wed. Your reception is nothing more than a dinner party. You wouldn’t invite one group to show up at 6 for appetizers,  and invite a few others to show up around dessert. I’ve been invited to three of these. Two I declined and ultimately lost any respect for the individuals,  the other I could understand.  The bride’s immediate family alone totaled 150, and it was important to get married in her family’s church which had a limited space. If you were to do this, as a guest, thr only explanation I would accept is family only (parents, grandparents, siblings, and other relatives you see on a regular basis). Other than that, I’ll think the worst of you.

Post # 12
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

In the UK this is standard. It’s come up a few times on the bee and everyone gets rather emotional based on whether or not it’s accepted in their social circle. 

I think the easiest way to sell it is to a) specify that the ceremony is family only and b) make it very clear that gifts are not required from those who only attend the reception. 

Would people be travelling a long way? Sometimes these things go down better if done on seperate days – so it is clear that the ‘wedding ceremony’ is one occasion and the ‘celebration of our marriage’ is an entirely seperate one. 

Post # 14
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would not attend a wedding if I were only invited to one “piece.” It’s rude and hurtful IMO. And the most important part is the actual marriage… why celebrate something you’re not even allowed to witness? 

Post # 15
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with the PP who said making it two seperate events is more appropriate. If you did the ceremony one day and the reception another, I think that’s less offensive. 

Post # 16
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If he is not a fan of people, having a small ceremony with a larger reception doesn’t help that. He will still have to be in a room with all the people at the reception, greet them, and talk to them.  For the ceremony he just has to stand in front of everybody and not interact.

If he really has issues interacting with and being around people, than you need to have a small wedding with everyone who is invited to the ceremony invited to the reception.  But if he is willing to have more people at the reception than he needs to suck it up and have all the people you want at the reception is at the ceremony.

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