Post # 1
I’m already married so this doesn’t really pertain to current issue, but I am bored and curious on what others think of this topic!
One of my major pet peeves is at a wedding, school music concert, etc. and there are people that either A. allow their small children to run around, or B. sit there while a child or baby cries and carries on, instead of quietly excusing themselves from the room (okay, so I guess this annoys me pretty much anywhere, but even more so at “formal” occasions). When it came time for my wedding, I seriously debated including something about not bringing children, but decided against it in the long run.
Does this annoy anyone else? Have you ever been to a wedding where there was a separate area for children (my sister was a “babysitter” at a wedding once), or where children were not allowed?
Just curious to see what you all think!
Post # 3
@Twyla_Smith: all weddings I’ve been to had children… I think it’s mainly an issue for those that dnt hav children yet bcz it’s hard to grasp the patience for their energy ( I used to b supppper annoyed) but now it doesn’t even phase me in the least
Post # 4
My SO & I are currently TTC, and if all goes well, we’re likely to have our own 1-year-old at our wedding, so other babies or small children doesn’t bother me at all. Our wedding will be outdoors and pretty laidback though.
I can understand why a couple would choose not to invite children to a more formal/late night wedding though.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts
I don’t like children at formal events and I have a child. I too have ran across parents who do not control their kids at these events and i think its rude. I can control my little one (most of the time) but sometimes it takes speaking loudly and at formal events this is inappropriate, so I usually do not take her. I will have be having an adult only reception…with the exception of my child, FI child, and brothers who are 10 and 14. But they will be part of the wedding party.
My brother and his wife did the same thing a few years ago. He had an “adult only” reception. However, their kids were present (8 kids b/w the both), as well as our little brothers and his SILs children (they were in the wedding party). The few kids they had there behaved themselves, so there was no annoyance. This is what gave me the idea to do “adults only”…plus the fact that there will be less people to feed (I have like 20 nieces and nephews).
Post # 6
I’m so torn about this… I come from a big Italian family, so every major event/get-together, includes EVERYONE. However… weddings are formal events, and no place for kids. I’m keeping my wedding an adult-only affair. The only kid that will be allowed will be my niece (because she, my sister and BIL are flying in from Canada).
My cousin actually loves the idea that our wedding is adults-only. She’s seeing it as an opportunity to “take a night off” from being a mom, and being able to relax and have a little fun. I’m hoping my other family members see it that way 🙂
Post # 7
There are probably going to be a lot of young children (under 3) at our wedding as we are pretty much the last couple to marry out of our friends. I’m excited to have them there (my mum even said to me ” we don’t go to weddings that don’t have children”!), but most of our friends are generally good at keeping an eye on them. I would always take a baby out if he/she was screaming.
Post # 8
Well at my wedding this November our 2 girls will be there ( ages 4 and 2) and our neice and nephew ( ages 18mo and 4), So I would say i like the dea of children at a wedding 🙂 I have planty of family to help during the day, and our babysitter will be onsit in the evening to watch over the girls once we tuck them into bed after dinner.
I havent invted any other guests children as its an evening reception and Id like my friends to be having fun without the thought of getting home to put the kids in bed 🙂 I am having a great band so plan to spend the night dancing with my friends!
Post # 9
Hot button topic!
I’ll start this by saying that I think there seem to be two attitudes towards parenthood.
1. Children should be allowed to be children. We expect them to scream, make a fuss, eat a different meal to the adults, and play up. Therefore, we should not allow them to enter adult spaces where they could be a nuisance.
2. Children are adults in training and will behave in a civilised fashion, eat the same meal as the adults, and have manners and respect, or they will not enjoy the consequences. We should allow them to enter all spaces and all walks of life as a way of socialising and training them responsibly.
I fall firmly in the latter camp. There will be children at my wedding. Unfortunately, bridesmaidzilla made a huge fuss (so what else is new?) about this, and insisted on being seated away from any children. I initially complied, but now then two of our guests are bringing their toddler because they couldn’t find a babysitter. He will (completely coincidentally) end up sitting on her table. I’ve decided simply not to tell her. I’m sick of her BS, and the toddler is a guest just as much as she is. I just hope she will show the family the respect they deserve on the day.
Post # 10
@babypearls: I have read/been told that one’s attitude towards children change once you have your own! Of course, thinking back now, if any small child was acting out during my wedding ceremony, I have no idea, as I was too wrapped up in the actual ceremony and focusing on the pastor and my husband to pay any attention anyways!
@RainStorm: The only children who ended up at our wedding and reception were family members, and honestly some of the best reception photos were of the little kids dancing away!
Post # 11
We’ve assured our family members that we’re completely fine with having young children at the wedding. I’m not going to freak out if a baby starts crying during the ceremony (I mean, hopefully they would remove a kid who was having a full-on meltdown). Maybe I’m just super laid back, I dunno. Our wedding coordinator (who’s a friendor) has a toddler, and I pretty much had to insist that I really was honestly excited for his wife to bring the kid along. There’s already going to be a bunch of kids there and we specifically tailored our wedding to accomodate families by having afternoon ceremony, early dinner, and family-friendly entertainment during cocktail hour. I love children, I think they will make our day a lot more fun.
Post # 12
@Twyla_Smith: I have children and cannot stand when people allow their children to run loose at events or just let them cry and scream when other people are trying to pay attention to something (a wedding, a speech, a musical production, whatever).
I have been to a wedding where there was a separate area for children with a sitter. I was not told ahead of time that children were expected to go to that area with the sitter who I had never met and did not know anything about. We made a quick exit.
Post # 13
I have no problem with WELL BEHAVED children at a wedding. If the little ones get fussy or the older ones try to get up and run around during the ceremony I expect the parents to be respectful enough of the event to remove the child from the space until they’ve calmed back down.
The concern we have is that several of the couples we’re inviting are NOT considerate of others when it comes to their child. Tantrums, screams, running around at restaurants, etc., are all allowed without batting an eye. Those are the ones I worry about.
Post # 14
Yeah, I think the middle road here is for parents to think about what their kid is capable of doing, and what other people around them will expect to enjoy about the wedding. If your kid is going to cry, take your kid out of the room. If your kid is a squirmy, running-around type, get ready to ride herd on your kid all night, because a formal event is not a playground. If all of that sounds like too much work, leave your kid with a babysitter and enjoy a nice evening out, or decline if you can’t stand to be away from your kid.
I really do feel that it’s your responsibility as a parent to make sure that your kid comports with the event, not that the event comports with your kid.
ETA: and of course some weddings are much more laid-back, organic, family affairs where it IS totally fine for the kids to treat a reception like a playground. But these tend to be the exception rather than the rule. Communication is important when you’re involving kids.
Post # 15
I can’t stand it! I was just at a friend’s wedding two weeks ago, and I could hear NOTHING except for a child crying, and another who was constantly dropping his mother’s cell phone (he had it to keep him occupied). If that wasn’t enough, I couldn’t stop watching this little boy destroy the decorations on the ends of his pew, and the ones to the front and back of him. All I could think of was…this will NOT be happening at my wedding. Also, I was not the only one who was irritated by this. I’m all for inviting kids with responsible parents who know that they need to sit somewhere where they can easily excuse themselves if their kid starts acting like….a kid.
For the record, I love kids. I just also love my friends and I really wanted to be present at their special day!