Post # 1
This is my first time posting on the boards i didn’t want to write anything until i was officially engaged. I got engaged on June 21 2012 which was my birthday by the way I’m so excited it’s been 6 years in the making. 🙂 But from the moment we told everyone there’s been a thousand questions like is the date set,where are you having the wedding and my favorite “i’m invited right?”. It’s just getting really over whelming. FI and I really want to save to buy a house and it’s frustrating that everyone has an opinion and inviting themselves but, no one is going to give a penny for our wedding. So my question is should we have a small ceremony followed by a fancy dinner of about 20 ppl with our closest friends and family? Or just do the whole big wedding thing in a catering hall with cocktail hour? I’m worried if I go with my first choice i will regret not having the whole wedding experience and FI is kinda straddling the fence with both ideas. Has anyone just did a simple ceremony with a small dinner and not regret it?
Post # 3
I think it’s great that you’re trying to figure this out before making any decisions. I originally wanted a small wedding, but my mom talked me into a big one. We haven’t had the wedding yet, but if I were to do it again, I would do a small one! Big weddings are BIG stress and BIG BIG money, and it’s REALLY hard to pay for it yourselves.
What do you think you might “miss” about having a big wedding? If you would miss celebrating with all your extended family and friends, then maybe have a big potluck BBQ a few weeks after your small wedding. If you would miss being all dressed up and having the fancy experience, then maybe you should think about doing a big wedding. I would make a pro/con list and think about all the possibilities, that might help!
Post # 4
Don’t forget there is always the option of a vow renewal someday down the road when your financially set. You could do the small one now and a big one on your tenth!
Post # 5
@likelimeade: I plan on dressing up for what ever we end up doing. I think I might regret not having the typical traditional wedding that everyone expect’s me to have and like I will be disappointing some people.Inn turn I will regret not having a big wedding. I don’t know if that makes sense. I am going to start a pro/con list.
@bricon: The vowel renewal is a good idea and something to consider.
Post # 6
The first thing you need to do is figure out your budget and know that there are ways to throw a wedding for 100 guest on just a couple of thousand. but figure out your budget first. If you are trying to save for a house and have bigger and better things in the works for you and your FI then don’t blow all that money on one day of your life which many of your guests are going to forget about anyways (I might get attacked for saying that, but so be it) If you can afford it and you feel it is necessary then go ahead and have the big shebang, but I would hate to have you compromise your future plans in order to make your family and friends happy.
Post # 7
@ globalmargaret: you are absolutely right. After much discussion with FI we’re about 90% sure that we are going to have destination wedding that way we can have a beautiful wedding and honeymoon all together and not that many people will be able to come 🙂 That last part sounds kind of bad but its a way to keep the guest list small with out fighting with family.