(Closed) Small or big wedding – not sure what to do.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

It’s really about what YOU want- how do you envision the day? Don’t worry about offending people- some folks will be annoyed with whatever you do, and in light of current economics, everyone is scaling down.

Post # 4
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree, it’s all about what you and your FI want to do. If it’s important to include all your family, include everyone, but if you don’t want to invite all your relatives, don’t.

I would have loved to have a small wedding with our parents and siblings only, but then I wanted to include a certain aunt, which turned into aunts and cousins, a few friends, their dates, etc. In the end, it was still small (35 ppl came) but I just found out that we “left out” some my husband’s family. My MIL decided to tell me after the wedding. When I talk to DH about this, he says that he thought about it but didn’t want to invite them all.

So really, you can divide the lines any place you want. I can’t tell from your post whether this is about budget or not because you say you have a close-knit family.

How about having a really fancy rehearsal dinner with immediate family for both you and your FI, extending that into a party, and then scaling back the wedding and inviting all your relatives? You can do a lot for 10,000.

Post # 5
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I also meant to add that if you choose to invite all your family, don’t worry about it appearing lop-sided unless that bothers you or your FI.

Post # 7
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think it would be really special and meaningful for you to find a way to include your extended family in some way. It sounds like you want to, but you are afraid to spend the money? 

I say, don’t count out including everyone in your family before you really work the numbers. I believe it can be done. 🙂

 

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