Small secret is bugging me

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I say PASS on the telling.


Crushes are natural and will happen thruout your life whether you’re married, single, divorced, 5 years old, etc.


We meet people that we like.  We are attracted. We feel drawn to them. They make us laugh or they appeal to us in a way that’s different.  This is life. It’s not even always  a sexual crush.  I have friend crushes all the time.


What you do with your crush is where the line of commitment happens.  Laughing and being a little flirty with a man does not cross that line.  Texting/emailing privately that you miss him, or touching like you wouldn’t touch your brother, or obviously anything that’s actually cheating, now those things cross the line.

Post # 4
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@anonybee87:  I don’t think you need to tell your SO that you had a crush on someone. It sounds like you acted appropriately and shut things down when they were heading in the direction of “too far”. 


Post # 6
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Way overthinking this.

Post # 8
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Crushes are not a big deal, and you did the right thing by drawing the line before anything got near innapropriate. Don’t worry about it, and I don’t see why you should tell your SO.

Post # 9
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@anonybee87:  I wouldn’t tell about the crush.

I would, if it came up, tell about things which actually happened. e.g. “Oh look there’s a photo of my college friend Fred. He was a real sleaze and even asked me out once, can you believe?”

I’m all for openness about what you do, but I don’t see what’s to be gained from talking about secret doubts/crushes you were having.

Post # 11
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@anonybee87:  As long as you’ve distanced yourself from this crush and have stopped the flirting, I don’t see the need to tell your fiance.

Treat your fiance the way you want to be treated. Would it bother you if he flirted with beautiful girls at school? If so, you probably shouldn’t flirt with other men.

It all depends on your relationship. But it seems like you’ve taken care of the situation, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

For future reference, just ask yourself, “Would I act this way in front of my fiance?” That’s usually a good way to gauge if something’s inappropriate.

Post # 12
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

This happened to me after I started a LDR with my FI several years ago. I ended up crushin hard, but there was absolutely nothing going on between us, and he wasn’t interested in me. Once I realized it, I tried to limit all contact with the guy. I then told my FI (then SO) about it so he would be completely clear of my intentions. It was hard on him but he knew it meant nothing since I was so honest.


Post # 13
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What would you tell your SO? I kind of liked this guy, but we never touched or anything. 

Cool story, bro. 

Post # 15
174 posts
Blushing bee

@JLR1982:  lol

@anonybee87:  don’t tell, there’s nothing to say! just forget about it and enjoy what sounds like a wonderful relationship 🙂

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